(yeah.. the following doesn't really go anywhere, or even make a ton of sense. I think I'm blogging at this point to prevent bringing this level of thinking/effervescent writing to any sermon prep that might otherwise occur today)
Ugh. I think if you were to take all of the posts I have written here over the last few months, throw them in a blender and set it to puree', you'd have a glimpse of how I've been feeling today. Good, bad, tired...
I actually slept through the night the last two nights, both with the help of an Ambien, and I'm just not sure if the sluggish, stuck-in-first-gear thing I have going on today is a result of chemical-sleep being a poor substitute for the real deal, cumulative effects of said chemicals, or just a really, really busy weekend. I lost my patience sometime last night, and I'm just beginning to feel it coming back- but it's tenuous! Oh, so tenuous...
Speaking of, this weekend, particularly this Sunday was busy and great... and busy.
Saturday was a fun kid's b-day party (who knew these things were mostly mom events? C'mon guys!) followed by a Community Dinner that evening. Man- sometimes I'm convinced, we pack more people into houses for these events than we should (we had about 60 or more folks at this one). We need to start considering east-side/west-side or some other configuration before we all end up on the evening news because we plunge as one through a floor to our deaths in a big ol' community heap (hopefully, if it happens, it happens after dinner. We have some good food at these things).
Saturday nights, I never sleep well. Anyone else "What if I don't wake up on time?" anxiety? I only get it one day a week, but man...
Anyway, up at 4 or so, polishing sermon till 7, help get kids up and fed, leave for the office, pack the stuff up, set up the Lab, have a great gathering (more on that in a minute), hang out for conversations after, Elder meeting from 1-4 or so, race home, grab the family and head to home group.
And yes, I was a little loopy for homegroup. Luckily, we were just doing supper together.
This Sunday was great at Evergreen- and the best part is that it was great for reasons that had nothing to do with me. Underprepared, overtired... I preached on how the Gospel shapes us into a worshiping community, and that without truly worshiping God, nothing really changes in our lives. We simply trade one idol for another...
The most beautiful part was the response in worship- both in interacting with the text (including some good pushback during the discussion) but also simply in singing. The band played the absolute best they ever have. Our band sits when they play- we try to stay away from the whole performance thing... so, when I say "best" I don't mean flashy- I mean some beautiful arrangements, some great texture, an awesome new song written by one of our worship leaders- it was the best music we've ever had on a Sunday, bar none.
And people responded. When we stood at the end to sing the Doxology, people sang with gusto, which for a fairly contemplative community such as ours was really something. It felt like a great response to what we had heard from 1st Peter- that all our lives, all our being, all our worship belong to God- "All praise to God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ."
I love being part of something that works on that level... especially when I know it's the combination of other people's gifts and the Holy Spirit that get us there.
