My big resolution for 2009?
Actually, Amy thought I was joking when I told her that.
But I'm serious.
In addition to it being New Year's, this is the year I turn 40... and both of those tend to make a guy think. Reassess, as it were.
As I look back on 2008, taken as a whole, what I sense is a growing amount of acedia, a state of listlessness and restlessness which tend to keep one from actually doing anything. Not depression, similar to ennui... more spiritual than emotional, acedia was first noticed (or at least written about) by the Desert Fathers. Similar to sloth, leading to dissatisfaction and prayerlessness...
2008 was the year I got tired, coasted, settled.
I think much of "energy" and creativity actually stems not so much from happenstance or lightening-strike serendipity but from decisions. Decisions to move forward, change, have the courage it takes to try, maybe fail, try again...
So that's it for me. I've felt stultified and uncreative.
I'm not even going to run a "best of Bob.Blog for 2008.
Why? Not much to run, honestly.
This year (I have some specifics, but generally speaking) I want to read more, write more, exercise more, talk more, risk more, love more, give more, challenge more, forgive more... basically be more of the person I know I should be, but have simply lacked the will to lean into being. (And of course, what that really means is laying down idols and worshiping Jesus more, but that's another post...)
So, my resolution is to kick ass.
For Jesus, of course, but still.
I mean... "What's yours?"