I think God and I are having a "moment."
"'For the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes each one he accepts as his child.'”
As you endure this divine discipline, remember that God is treating you as his own children. Who ever heard of a child who is never disciplined by its father?
God disciplines us for our own good. Check.
Out of love. Check.
And that looks like...?
What I didn't want to say was "crappy circumstances=God's discipline." That's an equation that's just too easy to abuse. The fact is, crap happens to the just and the unjust, as it were.
If it's not circumstantial, what is it? A guilty conscience (sorry... "convicted")? A sense of God's distance or some other kind of feeling? What does it look like when God lays down the smack in your life?
So I started asking- God show me. Help me understand.
Long and the short of it is, it's been a crappy week.
I'm not ready to make any conclusions yet, but the loss, the "taking away" that's happened over the last week has been pretty noticeable. My health, my wallet, the work of my hands, relationships... all of it has been affected. I won't detail it all, but it's cost me a lot of time, effort, money and brain cycles.
In the midst of this whole thing, God has been speaking to me. Last week, as I sat out on the porch (taking the day off due to nausea and throwing up the night before) I began to hear from God about growing up in my faith- about not being the kind of guy who cuts corners in the least, about a more mature, more straight approach to God, to others and to life. There are more specifics, but those are between me and Him, at least for now.
And still I'm not sure... God speaking to me, God laying His hand on my life, God pushing me to grow up?
Sounds like what discipline is for.
And this sure feels like "discipline."
I guess I'm getting an answer- the only question left is...
Will I listen?