10. The first words someone says to you are "I'm sorry, but that's our pew."
9. When the offering is low, they pass the plate around again. And again.
8. They say the Pledge of Allegiance and sing the Battle Hymn of the Republic... and it's March. (Or even July 4th weekend for that matter...)
7. The church website has five or more pictures of the senior pastor on the front page alone. (ahem)
6. "I see you have a Bible! Great! Let me get you a copy of the other book we use... It's kind of a sequel!"
5. The name of the church is longer than five words... much longer.
3. Three words: The Power Team.
2. Worship Song: You Spin Me Right Round Jesus, Right Round.
1. You are being preached to by a hologram. (seriously)
Bonus: This guy is there.