PastorHacks

Why I have to kill this blog

Bear with me here...

I've recently returned from the National Pastors' Convention in San Diego, a convention I try to get to every year- First with the National Youth Workers Convention in the 90's and then the NPC in this last decade. 

It's always been a great, relaxing experience of stepping out of my context, gaining perspective and refreshing my mind, body and soul. 

The last couple of years, and this one in particular, have been a little different. 

Four years ago, when I went, the plane would touch down in San Diego and I would feel an immediate "let down"- like my whole being just... relaxing. 

Why? Because I knew, and my BODY knew, I was disconnected. No obligations.

Of course I had my computer... but internet access wasn't readily available. I actually used to get up early, sneak upstairs to where the convention business center was and where they had some computers out on carts and "borrow" an ethernet cable/some broadband for a few minutes. Basically, maybe 1/2 hour a day- the rest of the time I was untethered to my "real life" and so found the gift of objectivity and clarity when thinking about relationships/situations/work back home. 

Each year since though, that feeling has gotten less and less. 

Why? 

Well...

Three years ago they introduced the Digital Cafe- with computers set up for you to use- yes- you often had to wait a few minutes to grab one, but basically, all day long, you could hop in and "check in."

Two years ago, they introduced wi-fi into the room. Now- I could sit with my own laptop and surf to my heart's content- check and answer email, interact on our forum, read my regular blogs...

Last year, I brought my iPhone. Even more connectivity. 

This year, my 3G iPhone. even more fast connectivity...

And halfway thru the convention as I walked along a corridor, my head down over my iPhone, I realized- this isn't as relaxing as it used to be. 

Why?

The answer was right in front of my nose. 

In fact, it was in my field of vision the whole time- and that's the problem- Here in PDX my world looks like home, family, laptop and phone (and unfortunately, not always in that order). In San Diego, it used to be different- but now- technology has made it not different. The same technology that allowed me to video chat with my family every day, also allowed me to be in constant contact through email, to blog, Twitter, check Facebook, and do all the things I normally do throughout my day.

No wonder it didn't feel like a break. 

And as I thought through the fact that once I engage in something (whether starting a blog, beginning to Twitter, whatever), it soon feels like an obligation and the long list of social media things I'm engaged in, I began to see how silly it was. The truth is, in an effort to connect broadly, I find myself connecting more shallowly. This is a bigger thought that needs to be developed (and I will), but suffice it to say, all this led me to a place of believing I needed to connect less broadly so I could connect more deeply.

And, unfortunately, one of the connections I feel I need to cut is this blog- I simply haven't given it the time and attention it deserves, and I've found my passion for finding/developing/blogging "pastor hacks" waning a bit... er, a lot. 

So, I hope to remain engaged in talking about productivity, pastoring and the like- I just can't maintain a whole blog devoted to it. It's one more psychic obligation on my day, especially my days off/away that I need to cut loose of. 

I hope you will add my regular blog to your rss. I tend to discuss broader pastoral themes, my pastoral and personal journey and I'll be shifting this conversation more over there. As an incentive I'll tell you- it's a bit more exciting over there :) We're currently wading back into the Video Venue "controversy." (Actually, it isn't much of a controversy... yet. We'll see if I can make it one!)

Thank you to the roughly 800-900 readers who have rss'd or visited/read this blog regularly. 

I appreciate your input and attention, and journeying with me these last few years of thinking through pastoral productivity!

Lent Prayer Guide

I've posted our Lent Prayer guide in versions for you to both use and steal here. Enjoy!

Could you go 30 Days without email?

Before you answer a hearty "No way" or "Dream on," remember- you used to do it ALL THE TIME. You probably started ministry without email, and though it has helped in many ways- at what cost? 

Here's one woman who gave it up for month and discovered some interesting things about herself and others:

"My e-mail was making me sick. No, I'm not paranoid that it was emitting cancer-causing electricity. But whenever I opened my in-box, I noticed a creeping resentment.

I had come to hate e-mail, for all the reasons anyone does. It interrupts and overwhelms. It causes stress. It distracts the brain and encourages the fracturing of attention. Because it's devoid of verbal tone and facial expression, it leads to miscommunication, confusion, and hurt feelings. All for the sake of making our lives "easier."

I started thinking about the problem a few months ago, when I was burned out from a year of overwork at the theater company I run. By chance, I found myself with a copy of Carl Honoré's "In Praise of Slowness", a brilliant criticism of the culture of speed.

Honoré is a proponent of the Slow movement, which encourages a deceleration of everything from cooking to business management, driving to talking styles-- based on the belief that speed can produce disconnection from daily life. And every time I read the word "speed," I couldn't help substituting "e-mail."

Of course, I might never have read his book at all if I hadn't been kindly put on mandatory vacation by everyone in my life. One of my theater partners said, "Why don't you take four weeks? You can't get anything done over the holidays, anyway."

Though I burst out laughing, I conceded, kind of: I took three days. And after they passed, I took another. And another. I put up an outgoing message on my e-mail saying I'd be away for an entire week. Then total irrationality struck. I couldn't take vacation for the rest of my life, but I began fantasizing about what would happen if I gave up e-mail for good.

In the end, I decided on a 30-day e-mail detox. No e-mail, in or out, for one month. Anyone can do a month, right?"

Read the rest here

Ed Stetzer: Deposits and Withdrawals

I just returned from vacation and then several days of travel. The vacation was needed and is what prompted this post. Donna and I went on a cruise and had an excellent time hanging with some old friends and decompressing a bit. It was a welcome respite from the cold weather back home. In Nashville it was frozen, but in the Caribbean it was very warm.

I love getting away with my wife, and we work hard to invest in our relationship. Why? Because it pays dividends.

People often ask me how I balance work and travel. Sometimes it is really a question. Other times, they are just reminding me to be sure to do that. By no means, do I think I have it all figured out, but my wife says she thinks we have a good balance.

When I invest in relationships it is the same as putting money in the bank, and that's important because I have to make frequent withdrawals. I travel a lot, work a lot, and am probably not easy to have as a husband or father. Those withdrawals demand frequent deposits.

With that in mind, and knowing that I am not the perfect example by any means, let me share how I try to make relational deposits in the life of my family...

Read the rest here

The Personal Firewall-

 

It's true- the more connected you are, the more distracted you are. And the less you can get done. 

There's zero doubt- Facebook, Twitter, cell phones and Wi-fi- they all serve us in various ways (even if just connecting to lost friends or allowing us to work out of the office). 

The problem is that the more we connect to social media, the more obligated we feel to feed them, keep up with them, check in on short micro-breaks... and so completely derail any momentum we may have gained in getting things done. The same goes for both the benefits and the hazards of constant connection through cell phones and internet. Most of us no longer have an admin that safeguards us from phonecalls and other drop-in distractions. 

It's up to us to set up our own safeguards. 

Thus, the "personal firewall." 

No- it's not always on. But when I need to get things done, I also need to recognize that checking my email, answering a phone call, dropping a twitter update may feel like a small distraction- but in reality, it's a derailment that it will take valuable time to recover from. 

Here are some ideas or your personal firewall-

1. Email- If you haven't disabled the "ding", do so now. That thing is evil. A little sound that demands your attention, that grabs your consciousness, that expects you in true Pavlovian tradition to interrupt whatever you are doing for the latest FYI, forward from your friend with too much time or spam email. Just say no. 

In fact, when you are working, consider turning off email completely. If you need think of an email you need to send, rather than interrupt what you are doing, just make a to-do for when you eventually do open up the email again for batch reading and writing. Why risk the distraction that will inevitably be lurking in your inbox just to get a message to someone 30 minutes sooner?

2. Internet- consider a second browser, one dedicated to fun, and one to work. Trying to get things done on a browser that has a LOT of fun stuff bookmarked on it is tough.

COnsider even switching off the wi-fi a few times a day. Think about how much time you lose every day to misc. surfing, reading news that won't matter tomorrow, following links that lead nowhere... save yourself the time by just shutting it down or working with a distraction-proofed browser. 

3. Phone. Silent might be good enough- but "off" is even better. I know, I know- what if there's an emergency? I just want you to remember that 10 years ago, you probably didn't have a cell phone, and ten years ago you didn't spend every minute studying or working in a coffee shop or library in utter panic that your family would drive off a cliff and no one would be able to reach you. 

It's okay to turn off your phone for an hour or two. And if you can't bring yourself to do that, at least switch off the ringer and refuse to answer for anyone but your spouse. Seriously- if it's an emergency, they'll call back. 

No one will make your firewall for you. You can't buy one, have one installed and these days- you just can't get by without it. 

Being connected is wonderful. Disconnecting occasionally is necessary. 

Agree or disagree? Other ideas for your personal firewall?

Limitations

I've been thinking through the issue of why I haven't been blogging as much... that's probably a nice way to put it, yeah? Truthfully, these last three months have found my blog laying by the side of the road like a wounded lemur. Will no one stop to help?

Anyway...

I've been (somewhat) enjoying the break, feeling a strange freedom from expression. It's not that I haven't had thoughts these last few months- I just haven't shared many with you. Naughty, I know. But maybe necessary. 

Maybe a break has been just what I needed, and more than the few weeks' hiatus that generally occurs around December. Maybe what I've needed was to reengage with why I do this blog, why I run PastorHacks.com.

Reading Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership has been good for me. Ruth Haley Barton is the real deal, and her wisdom for those trying to engage the difficult life of leadership as well as the disciplines which do (or rather, must) undergird it are invaluable. 

Here's what she said that stopped me in my tracks and convinced me I needed to do more of a reevaluation than simply taking a breather when it came to blogging and websites and the like:

"There is something deeply spiritual about honoring the limitations of our lives and the boundaries of what God has given us to do as leaders. Narcissistic leaders are always looking beyond their sphere of influence with visions of grandiosity far out of proportion to what is actually being given. Living within our limits means living within the finiteness of who we are as individuals and as a community- the limits of time and space, the limits of our physical, emotional, relational and spiritual capacities, the limits of our stage of life... and the limits of the calling God has given. It means doing this and not that. It means doing this much and not more."

As I read this, I felt the subtle shift inside from "dream big" to "dream deep." There's a time to go all Jabez and try to extend the circle of influence of our lives as widely as possible. And there's a time to recognize that eventually, that becomes counter productive to getting beyond the merely surface level in any area. To truly master something, you have to give yourself to it. You have to say no to a lot of things to say yes to one or two. 

Right now, my priorities are serving/worshiping/glorifying God through my family, my church and becoming the person I feel like God has me on track to become. My confession is that those priorities don't always work themselves out in that order and that I continually feel the tug of mission creep. Invitations which appeal to one's ego are difficult to turn down. 

The psychic weight of blogging and maintaining readership is honestly something I could live without. It feels at times like simply another obligation. 

While I love hearing from people I meet that something I wrote has helped them or contributed to their church planting/pastoral/personal journey, I recognize that I love it both in a healthy and unhealthy way. 

At my worst moments, I recognize that this whole thing of blogs and stats, of links and hat tips is an ego booster that needs to be kept in check. Scratch that. "In check" doesn't get it. "Killed" or more precisely "crucified" would be the right way to say it. To the extent I allow my identity to be based on being known and appreciated for writing or a blog, I'm actually feeding a cancer on my soul that, uncrucified will leave me a self-centered husk who cares more about stats than anything else.

Something I care about will get crucified. And it's either going to be my ego or more important things (like family, church, etc). Worst case scenario thinking, I know. But I'm pretty good at looking down the road and playing out consequences, and I'll just have to ask you to trust me on this one. 

So, is this my "Dear Bob.Blog Readers" letter of dropping out of the blog world? 

No. 

But it is an admission that my family is more important than you, my church is more important than you, and my personal mental/spiritual/emotional health is more important. For me, right now, I have to stop thinking as broadly as I have, I have to stop trying to "influence the conversation." 

"When we refuse to live within our limits (one of my deepest temptations), we wear out ourselves and those who lead with us. We compromise the quality of our relationships with God and the people around us. We compromise our effectiveness at doing the things we have been called to do. To live within our limits is to live humbly as the creature, not the Creator. Only God is infinite; the rest of us need to be very clear about what we are about in any given moment and say no to everything else."

I think it's a particular pastoral temptation to be dissatisfied with the ministry and situation God has given me- to dream constantly of bigger and better, of more influence and respect, to lose sight of what's now because we focus so much on what's next.

It's a given that I'm a husband and father and need to constantly renew my commitment to placing them first. I'm also a pastor. God has given me a church. These are my people. And in ten years I want to be known, not for having written a bunch of stuff that not many people remember, but for having given myself to the care, feeding and encouragement of my family and a group of people called Evergreen. I need to stop mourning the fact that my family and pastoral duties preclude me from writing that book or the killer blog post that will set the internets on fire. The work God has given me for this period of my life is enough to challenge me, to sustain me and for me to enjoy setting my hands to.

And enough to form me, I think... to get me where I want to be after 10-15 years- The wise, older man (who may or may not have a grey, balding ponytail- TBD) who can speak into the lives of pastors and mentor leaders and serve the church through serving those who lead. 

I guess I'm realizing that for all intents and purposes, I've just been trying to jump that gun a bit. 

So I will continue to blog and express myself, but won't obsess over it. I hope what I post will be meaningful first for Evergreeners and where they are at, second for those in ministry or heading that way, and third for those who for one reason or another are interested in what I have to say.  

And maybe I'll check the stats a little less too.