Why I have to kill this blog

Bear with me here...

I've recently returned from the National Pastors' Convention in San Diego, a convention I try to get to every year- First with the National Youth Workers Convention in the 90's and then the NPC in this last decade. 

It's always been a great, relaxing experience of stepping out of my context, gaining perspective and refreshing my mind, body and soul. 

The last couple of years, and this one in particular, have been a little different. 

Four years ago, when I went, the plane would touch down in San Diego and I would feel an immediate "let down"- like my whole being just... relaxing. 

Why? Because I knew, and my BODY knew, I was disconnected. No obligations.

Of course I had my computer... but internet access wasn't readily available. I actually used to get up early, sneak upstairs to where the convention business center was and where they had some computers out on carts and "borrow" an ethernet cable/some broadband for a few minutes. Basically, maybe 1/2 hour a day- the rest of the time I was untethered to my "real life" and so found the gift of objectivity and clarity when thinking about relationships/situations/work back home. 

Each year since though, that feeling has gotten less and less. 

Why? 

Well...

Three years ago they introduced the Digital Cafe- with computers set up for you to use- yes- you often had to wait a few minutes to grab one, but basically, all day long, you could hop in and "check in."

Two years ago, they introduced wi-fi into the room. Now- I could sit with my own laptop and surf to my heart's content- check and answer email, interact on our forum, read my regular blogs...

Last year, I brought my iPhone. Even more connectivity. 

This year, my 3G iPhone. even more fast connectivity...

And halfway thru the convention as I walked along a corridor, my head down over my iPhone, I realized- this isn't as relaxing as it used to be. 

Why?

The answer was right in front of my nose. 

In fact, it was in my field of vision the whole time- and that's the problem- Here in PDX my world looks like home, family, laptop and phone (and unfortunately, not always in that order). In San Diego, it used to be different- but now- technology has made it not different. The same technology that allowed me to video chat with my family every day, also allowed me to be in constant contact through email, to blog, Twitter, check Facebook, and do all the things I normally do throughout my day.

No wonder it didn't feel like a break. 

And as I thought through the fact that once I engage in something (whether starting a blog, beginning to Twitter, whatever), it soon feels like an obligation and the long list of social media things I'm engaged in, I began to see how silly it was. The truth is, in an effort to connect broadly, I find myself connecting more shallowly. This is a bigger thought that needs to be developed (and I will), but suffice it to say, all this led me to a place of believing I needed to connect less broadly so I could connect more deeply.

And, unfortunately, one of the connections I feel I need to cut is this blog- I simply haven't given it the time and attention it deserves, and I've found my passion for finding/developing/blogging "pastor hacks" waning a bit... er, a lot. 

So, I hope to remain engaged in talking about productivity, pastoring and the like- I just can't maintain a whole blog devoted to it. It's one more psychic obligation on my day, especially my days off/away that I need to cut loose of. 

I hope you will add my regular blog to your rss. I tend to discuss broader pastoral themes, my pastoral and personal journey and I'll be shifting this conversation more over there. As an incentive I'll tell you- it's a bit more exciting over there :) We're currently wading back into the Video Venue "controversy." (Actually, it isn't much of a controversy... yet. We'll see if I can make it one!)

Thank you to the roughly 800-900 readers who have rss'd or visited/read this blog regularly. 

I appreciate your input and attention, and journeying with me these last few years of thinking through pastoral productivity!

Comments

[Kevin Respecki]

Sorry to hear you'll be shutting down. I'm not big on comments but I just wanted you to know that I've enjoyed reading you on this blog. Thank You.

[Zeb Cameron]

http://nccomputers.com/wordpress/

Nice rant, keep up the great work yo!

[Geektronica]

As a person who has started far too many blogs for even a full-time blogger (which I've never been), I can sympathize. I'm down to two now, one personal and one professional, and have given myself permission to ignore both as much as I want.

I remember a time when blogging was something only a few of us did, so there was a certain sense of excitement to it. Now, it's a lot more of a chore, especially if your blog is respected and you feel the pressure to keep posting new material and live-blogging events that you previously just enjoyed.

I'd say leave it online if you can, and you may throw up a post here or there. Or, maybe others could contribute posts and you could be more of an editor if time allows. At any rate, it's a great domain name and a great concept (though, as someone who's not a pastor, I must admit that this is my first time here).

[Ron]

Just wanted to thank you for your contribution here. I've explored ideas that you have posted on this blog, and my mind has opened to some new ways of approaching ministry because of things that you have written. Thanks for sharing so much.

[john chandler]

Good for you Bob. I've killed a blog/website or two in my day. It's hard, but very freeing to take the weight off.

(looking forward to hanging out some in a few weeks)

[Dave Faulkner]

Thanks for all you've shared here, Bob.