PastorHacks

Ed Stetzer: Deposits and Withdrawals

I just returned from vacation and then several days of travel. The vacation was needed and is what prompted this post. Donna and I went on a cruise and had an excellent time hanging with some old friends and decompressing a bit. It was a welcome respite from the cold weather back home. In Nashville it was frozen, but in the Caribbean it was very warm.

I love getting away with my wife, and we work hard to invest in our relationship. Why? Because it pays dividends.

People often ask me how I balance work and travel. Sometimes it is really a question. Other times, they are just reminding me to be sure to do that. By no means, do I think I have it all figured out, but my wife says she thinks we have a good balance.

When I invest in relationships it is the same as putting money in the bank, and that's important because I have to make frequent withdrawals. I travel a lot, work a lot, and am probably not easy to have as a husband or father. Those withdrawals demand frequent deposits.

With that in mind, and knowing that I am not the perfect example by any means, let me share how I try to make relational deposits in the life of my family...

Read the rest here

Limitations

I've been thinking through the issue of why I haven't been blogging as much... that's probably a nice way to put it, yeah? Truthfully, these last three months have found my blog laying by the side of the road like a wounded lemur. Will no one stop to help?

Anyway...

I've been (somewhat) enjoying the break, feeling a strange freedom from expression. It's not that I haven't had thoughts these last few months- I just haven't shared many with you. Naughty, I know. But maybe necessary. 

Maybe a break has been just what I needed, and more than the few weeks' hiatus that generally occurs around December. Maybe what I've needed was to reengage with why I do this blog, why I run PastorHacks.com.

Reading Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership has been good for me. Ruth Haley Barton is the real deal, and her wisdom for those trying to engage the difficult life of leadership as well as the disciplines which do (or rather, must) undergird it are invaluable. 

Here's what she said that stopped me in my tracks and convinced me I needed to do more of a reevaluation than simply taking a breather when it came to blogging and websites and the like:

"There is something deeply spiritual about honoring the limitations of our lives and the boundaries of what God has given us to do as leaders. Narcissistic leaders are always looking beyond their sphere of influence with visions of grandiosity far out of proportion to what is actually being given. Living within our limits means living within the finiteness of who we are as individuals and as a community- the limits of time and space, the limits of our physical, emotional, relational and spiritual capacities, the limits of our stage of life... and the limits of the calling God has given. It means doing this and not that. It means doing this much and not more."

As I read this, I felt the subtle shift inside from "dream big" to "dream deep." There's a time to go all Jabez and try to extend the circle of influence of our lives as widely as possible. And there's a time to recognize that eventually, that becomes counter productive to getting beyond the merely surface level in any area. To truly master something, you have to give yourself to it. You have to say no to a lot of things to say yes to one or two. 

Right now, my priorities are serving/worshiping/glorifying God through my family, my church and becoming the person I feel like God has me on track to become. My confession is that those priorities don't always work themselves out in that order and that I continually feel the tug of mission creep. Invitations which appeal to one's ego are difficult to turn down. 

The psychic weight of blogging and maintaining readership is honestly something I could live without. It feels at times like simply another obligation. 

While I love hearing from people I meet that something I wrote has helped them or contributed to their church planting/pastoral/personal journey, I recognize that I love it both in a healthy and unhealthy way. 

At my worst moments, I recognize that this whole thing of blogs and stats, of links and hat tips is an ego booster that needs to be kept in check. Scratch that. "In check" doesn't get it. "Killed" or more precisely "crucified" would be the right way to say it. To the extent I allow my identity to be based on being known and appreciated for writing or a blog, I'm actually feeding a cancer on my soul that, uncrucified will leave me a self-centered husk who cares more about stats than anything else.

Something I care about will get crucified. And it's either going to be my ego or more important things (like family, church, etc). Worst case scenario thinking, I know. But I'm pretty good at looking down the road and playing out consequences, and I'll just have to ask you to trust me on this one. 

So, is this my "Dear Bob.Blog Readers" letter of dropping out of the blog world? 

No. 

But it is an admission that my family is more important than you, my church is more important than you, and my personal mental/spiritual/emotional health is more important. For me, right now, I have to stop thinking as broadly as I have, I have to stop trying to "influence the conversation." 

"When we refuse to live within our limits (one of my deepest temptations), we wear out ourselves and those who lead with us. We compromise the quality of our relationships with God and the people around us. We compromise our effectiveness at doing the things we have been called to do. To live within our limits is to live humbly as the creature, not the Creator. Only God is infinite; the rest of us need to be very clear about what we are about in any given moment and say no to everything else."

I think it's a particular pastoral temptation to be dissatisfied with the ministry and situation God has given me- to dream constantly of bigger and better, of more influence and respect, to lose sight of what's now because we focus so much on what's next.

It's a given that I'm a husband and father and need to constantly renew my commitment to placing them first. I'm also a pastor. God has given me a church. These are my people. And in ten years I want to be known, not for having written a bunch of stuff that not many people remember, but for having given myself to the care, feeding and encouragement of my family and a group of people called Evergreen. I need to stop mourning the fact that my family and pastoral duties preclude me from writing that book or the killer blog post that will set the internets on fire. The work God has given me for this period of my life is enough to challenge me, to sustain me and for me to enjoy setting my hands to.

And enough to form me, I think... to get me where I want to be after 10-15 years- The wise, older man (who may or may not have a grey, balding ponytail- TBD) who can speak into the lives of pastors and mentor leaders and serve the church through serving those who lead. 

I guess I'm realizing that for all intents and purposes, I've just been trying to jump that gun a bit. 

So I will continue to blog and express myself, but won't obsess over it. I hope what I post will be meaningful first for Evergreeners and where they are at, second for those in ministry or heading that way, and third for those who for one reason or another are interested in what I have to say.  

And maybe I'll check the stats a little less too.

Busyness...

"...Pastors and Christian leaders seem to be as caught up in the culture of busyness as anyone else. A full 65 percent of pastors (right up there with lawyers, managers and nurses) are among the most likely to rush from task to task in a way that interferes with their relationship with God. 'It's tragic. It's ironic,' notes Zigarelli, 'that the very people who could best help us escape the bondage of busyness are themselves in chains.'

The sad truth is that life in and around the church these days often leads people into a way of life that is becoming more and more layered with Christian busyness. If we are honest, we might admit that Christian leaders are just as driven to succeed as anyone else, only our success is measured in larger congregations, better church services, more innovations and larger buildings. There is nothing wrong with any of these things in and of themselves, but what can be wrong is the kind of life we have to live in order to make them happen."

- Ruth Haley Barton, Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership

Think you're multitasking? Think again...

From NPR (ht: Chris)

Don't believe the multitasking hype, scientists say. New research shows that we humans aren't as good as we think we are at doing several things at once. But it also highlights a human skill that gave us an evolutionary edge.

As technology allows people to do more tasks at the same time, the myth that we can multitask has never been stronger. But researchers say it's still a myth — and they have the data to prove it.

Humans, they say, don't do lots of things simultaneously. Instead, we switch our attention from task to task extremely quickly.

A case example, researchers say, is a group of people who focus not on a BlackBerry but on a blueberry — as in pancakes.

Read the rest here...

How to let your family know where they rank...

One of the hardest parts about the pastoral gig is the always on mentality and the pressure to balance ministry and family. 

But the last thing a busy pastor needs is more pressure, so... here are some helpful hints for letting family know they rank last on the priority scale so you can really start cranking and get somewhere in ministry! Who knows- once freed from the deadweight of family-time and obligations, you'll have amazing time to spend with God, stuff at church will be handled the way you actually want it handled (because you'll finally have time to do it all)... you may even get a book deal out of it! Think how productive you'll be!

1. Ministry is a boundary-less vocation, by definition- so, by all means avoid setting any. You'll only be frustrated when important ministry stuff that could be done occurs to you in the middle of just hanging out with your kids. 

2. Meditate on how important ministry is. Do it. Right now! I mean, this is work with "eternal significance" right? Your spouse and kids will always be there, but that crisis over at the Jones' (today) and that problem with the Smiths (tomorrow) and the important meeting of the CE committee (the day after) and all the rest.. you only have one shot to get that right, right? Let the family know that on Saturday from 9:15am until the Church softball game at 11:30am, you are all theirs! Then go do some real ministry.

3. Your spouse knew what they were signing on for when they married someone going into ministry, right? Don't let the complaints get to you. 

What other helpful hints do you all have for minimizing the distractions of family and focusing on what really matters? 

</sarcasm>

Busy Pastors... or sinful pastors?

"'The poor man,' we say.'He's so devoted to his flock; the work is endless, and he sacrifices himself so unstintingly.' But the word busy is the symptom not of commitment but of betrayal. It is not devotion but defection. The adjective busy set as a modifier to pastor should sound to our ears like adulterous to characterize a wife or embezzling to describe a banker. It is an outrageous scandal, a blasphemous affront.

Hilary of Tours diagnosed our pastoral busyness as irreligiosa sollicitudo pro Deo, a blasphemous anxiety to do God's work for him. 

I (and most pastors, I believe) become busy for two reasons; both are ignoble.

I am busy because I am vain. I want to appear important. Significant. What better way than to be busy? The incredible hours, the crowded schedule, and the heavy demands on my time are proof to myself- and to all who will notice- that I am important...

I am busy because I am lazy. I indolently let others decide what I will do instead of resolutely deciding myself. I let people who do not understand the work of pastor write the agenda for my day's work because I am too slipshod to write it myself...

... we find ourselves frantically, at the last minute, trying to satisfy a half dozen different demands on our time, none of which is essential to our vocation, to stave off the disaster of disappointing someone.

But if I vainly crowd my day with conspicuous activity or let others fill my day with imperious demands, I don't have time to do my proper work, the work to which I have been called. How can I lead people into the quiet place beside still waters if I am in perpetual motion? How can I persuade a person to live by faith and not works if I have to juggle my schedule constantly to make everything fit into place?"

-Eugene Peterson, The Contemplative Pastor

Sacred Rhythms...2

"It's not that I am averse to technology; I too have a cell phone, an office phone, a home phone and an email address, and they are much needed. However, I am aware of longings that run much deeper than what technology can address. I am noticing that the more I fill my life with the convenience of technology, the emptier I become in the places of my deepest longing. I long for the beauty and substance of being in the presence of those I love, even though it is less convenient. I long for spacious, thoughtful conversation even though it is less efficient. I long to be connected with my authentic self, even though it means being inaccessible to others at time. I long to be one who waits and listens deeply for the still, small voice of God, even if it means I must unplug from technology in order to become quiet enough to hear. 

Constant noise, interruption and drivenness to be more productive cut us off from or at least interrupt the direct experience of God and other human beings, and this is more isolating than we realize. Because we are experiencing less meaningful and divine connection, we are emptier relationally, and we try harder and harder to fill that loneliness with even more noise and stimulation. In so doing we lose touch with the quieter and more subtler experiences of God within.

This is a vicious cycle indeed."

- Ruth Haley Barton, Sacred Rhythms

Sacred Rhythms

"One of the new challenges for our generation is the impact of technology on our spirituality. This warrants serious consideration. If we are not careful, technology has a way of compromising our ability to be present to ourselves, to God and to each other- all of which are fundamental elements of the spiritual life. I don't know about you, but I am sad when I have set aside time to be with friends and, because a cell phone is left on, we are at the mercy of all manner of intrusion. We think nothing of taking phone calls in the middle of meetings, restaurants and family gatherings. I am disturbed by my own compulsion to check email late at night and first thing in the morning. When left unchecked, this lack of discipline imperceptibly robs me of rest in the evening and silent presence to God in the morning. I can become exhausted by the intrusion of the media and technology into every corner of my life, resulting in constant overstimulation of body, mind and emotions. All of this convenience wears me out!
Exhaustion sets in when we are accessible too much of the time. A soul-numbing sadness comes when we realize that a certain quality of life and quality of presence is slipping away as a result of too much "convenience." Breaks in the day that used to be small windows of replenishment for body and soul- like driving in a car, going for a walk, having lunch with a friend- are now filled with noise, interruption and multi-tasking. What feels like being available and accessible is really a boundaryless existence that offers no protection for those things that are most precious to us.

...No wonder we feel disconnected from God: we are rarely able to give Him our full attention in solitude and silence. Thoughtful reflection is constantly sabotaged by the intrusion of cell phones, pagers and e-mail messages. No wonder our human relationships are so unsatisfying as they get reduced to snippets of interrupted, disembodied phone conversation. What feels like convenience is actually robbing us of those things we value most. We are left with bits and pieces of everything rather than experiencing the full substance of anything."

- Ruth Haley Barton, Sacred Rhythms

Ordering Your Private World...

"I was a young pastor in a sizable church, and I had accumulated several weeks of busyness (I mean really busy!) in my work. Now, there is a busyness that reflects a plan of actvity, a pattern of priorities, and a sense of purpose-fulness. It is a good and satisfying busyness through which one grows and increases competence.

But there is a busyness (a destructive busyness, actually) that reflects a chaotic way of life- a way of doing in which one is simply responding to the next thing in the day. The next thing! It makes no difference whether or not it has significance; it's just the next thing and one does it because it's there to do.

In that thirtieth year I was swept along in that second kind of busyness much like someone being swept along in the rapids of a raging river. Out of control. Fearful of capsizing. Feeling quite unprotected.

...That Saturday was the day I learned, the hard and frightening way, that I could not go on living the way I was living and expect to be the spiritul leader (or any other kind of leader) of people. I often refer to that morning as the day I hit the wall"- Gordon MacDonald

Busyness... or Gluttony?

“A paradox has emerged in this new millennium: people have enhanced quality of life, but at the same time they are adding to their stress levels by taking on more than they have resources to handle. It's as though their eyes were bigger than their stomachs."
- David Allen, Getting Things Done

It's more than likely that you've heard a message, read a book, or done some thinking about "busyness" in the last year or two. Slightly less likely, but still entirely possible that you've heard a message, read a book, or done some thinking on "gluttony" during the same time.

It's highly unlikely that the two were connected, however. And maybe they should have been.

Why do we say yes to so much? Is it because we are guilt-ridden, co-dependent angst monkeys who lack the willpower to say no?
Nah- we say to a million things a day. Usually to things that are good for us, but still... When we want to, we know how to say no just fine, thank you.

Is it because we have a drive towards self justification that works itself out in our work and an ever-increasing load of commitments through which we seek to earn the favor of others and God? In part, yes...

But maybe, it also has something to do with our appetites?

You know, our appetites for recognition and "importance." To be liked, appreciated, admired... Even our appetite to "get things done."

And honestly, there's nothing inherently wrong with that. But like all things in this broken world, left unchecked by the Spirit and unsubmitted to God, our appetite to be liked and our appetite to achieve will run out of control.

I've been thinking about busyness as though it's a problem to be managed- increase my productivity and I could, of course, accept and do more commitments, more on my plate... more to feed my ego.

Maybe the problem with busyness isn't it. Maybe it's me. Me and my ego and pride.

Conceived of this way, busyness isn't an issue of time management and productivity, it's an issue of desire. When is enough, enough? When am I doing enough good things through which that God-given desire to feel productive and useful in this world can be fulfilled? When do I cross the line between finding satisfaction in the good day's work I put in and trying to find my identity through an ever-increasing load of ego-enhancing commitments?

Don't get me wrong- I want to continue to work on productivity/time management and all the rest. But until I work through the inner issues of why I try to do so much, all the productivity hacks in the word really just add up to enabling.
In other words, most days I don't need any more help being productive or managing the stress of work. I think I need help in managing my appetite for applause and the stress of opportunity.

I fear my busyness is simply a sign of my gluttony.