PastorHacks

Coaching Questions: Top Ten Mistakes, pt 2

 I picked up "Coaching Questions" recently and so far, it looks like a great resource. Not directed at pastoring or spiritual direction in particular, but still, with a lot of helpful resources for those trying to help mentor and guide others. 

One particularly helpful section- the Top Ten Asking Mistakes. 

Mistakes we make in the asking of questions. 

Here's part 2:

2. Solution-Oriented Questions

A special kind of closed question is the solution-oriented question. SOQs are pieces of advice with a question mark pasted on. We want to tell the client the answer, but we remember we are supposed to be coaching, so we give our solution in the form of a question:

• Shouldn't you check in with your boss before you act on this?
• Could you do your jogging with your spouse? 
• Do you think that affirming the person would give you a better result? 
• Can you give her the benefit of the doubt on this one?  

"Should you, could you, will you, don;t you, can you, are you"- if the second word in the question is "you", you're in trouble.

Solution: Follow Your Curiosity 

On a practical level, SOQs usually originate in an intuitive insight: something the person says makes us curious, so (all in our own heads) we proceed to identify what we think the underlying problem is, create a solution, and then offer it to the person. Th trick is to go back to the thing that made you curious in the first place, and ask about that. Often this involves broadening our SOQ (which focused on one potential solution) into an open question with many possible solutions. For instance:

• Our insight on the first question listed above was wondering what the channels of authority in this organization are. So we might ask, "In your company, what kind of channels do you need to go through before you act on this?" (Notice how this question allows for other answers than just talking to the boss.)
• On the second question, our intuition noticed that the client is an extrovert, yet all the potential exercise options were done alone. So you might say, "I noticed that all your exercise options were solitary activities. How could you involve other people in your exercise routine?" 

Coaching Questions: Top Ten Mistakes, pt 1

 I picked up "Coaching Questions" recently and so far, it looks like a great resource. Not directed at pastoring or spiritual direction in particular, but still, with a lot of helpful resources for those trying to help mentor and guide others. 

One particularly helpful section- the Top Ten Asking Mistakes. 

Mistakes we make in the asking of questions. 

Here's #1:

"1. Closed Questions

Our number one offender is- closed questions! Open questions have two key benefits: they let the coachee direct the conversation (because they can be answered in many ways) and they make the coachee think by eliciting longer answers. While most people will answer the occasional closed question as if it were open, too many closed questions in a row shuts people down. 

Solution: Convert Closed Questions to Open Questions

To convert closed questions to open ones, first become aware of what you are asking. If you catch yourself before you've finished asking, stop and and restate the question. You'll know a closed question because it can be answered with a simple 'yes' or 'no,' like these examples:

• 'Is there a way to do that and still keep evenings for your family?'
• 'Can you realistically take that on too?' 
• 'Could there be other ways to approach that?' 
• 'Do you have any other options?' 

When you catch yourself in the act of asking a closed question, here's a quick technique for readjusting: restate the question, but this time beginning with the word 'what' or 'how.' Here are the closed questions listed above , but now made open with this technique:

• 'What could you do to still keep evenings for your family?'
• 'How would your life change if take that on too?' 
• 'How else could you approach that?' 
• 'What other options do you have?' 

  

power questions follow up...

Last week, we brought up "power questions"... questions that jump-start relationship/accountability/staff productivity, etc. Questions that may be hard to ask, but pay big dividends if spoken in the right context and if the answers are heeded.

I'd asked for contributions and here are some of the results... good stuff here.

Power Questions

One concept I've been thinking about (between 3am feedings) recently is "power questions"- questions that jump-start relationship/accountability/staff productivity, etc. Questions that may be hard to ask, but pay big dividends if spoken in the right context and if the answers are heeded.

One I love to ask:
"What do you need from me?"

I recognize that with a bit of observation and perception I can answer this question- but I like to ask. And people like to be asked.
You might have to ask a couple of times...

What are some of your power questions?