bob.blog: Best of bob.blog... I Repent

UPDATE: For our Schismatic Friends coming from Slice and Old Truth, some good thoughts from your favorite whipping boy (well, after Rick Warren, anyway) Brian McLaren:

When people who claim to love the Bible launch unfair, inaccurate, unreflective, and mean-spirited attacks, especially when they do so on a public and international forum like the internet, they are not only hurting me and sometimes my readers (which they may not care about) – they may also be hurting the cause of Christ (which they do care about). After all, the Bible clearly says we must not bear false witness, spread rumors, or indulge in uncharitable or unwholesome speech. It says we should do to others as they do to us and act justly. It asserts that our love for one another reflects on the credibility of our message. It tells us we should examine ourselves and look at obstructions our own eyes (which would include flaws in our own viewpoint or perspective) before we try to perform eye surgery on someone else. This kind of behavior among people who claim to love the Bible, Jesus, Christianity, orthodoxy, and truth brings dishonor on these very things.

More here

Now on with the show...

You know, it's been interesting to go back through posts and articles and try to pull out some things for a best of bob blog series. So much that was written a year, two years ago feels very different now, and seemingly contradictory to more recent stuff.

I guess we change.

But with a lot of this (like the "I Can't Pray For You") article, while I may not agree with it any longer or think I'd say what I said in the same way, I think there's value in going back, re-examining, looking again, talking it through.

So- please take "Best of bob.blog" with a grain of salt. Especially when I repost things from many, many months ago or even a couple of years ago. The place I was at that lead me to church planting (disillusionment, hurt, etc) is no longer where I am today, because of church planting and the grace of God.

I'm not going to run from what I wrote, however...

Anyway, in the spirit of all that, and of the last few posts, here's one I wrote that made it around a bit on Allelon, Next Wave, the Ooze, etc...

I Repent

I hesitate to write these words in such a public space.

But I can't keep it secret any longer.

I have an addiction and it's killing me.

It started innocently enough. A few web pages here, a site or two there... And now?

I think it's withering my soul.

Internet porn? Nah.
Online gambling? Nope.
Fantasy Football? uh...does Dan Fouts still play for the Chargers? No?

No, my addiction is more sinister still. I'm addicted to reading anti-emergent church stuff.

I've tried and tried and tried to kick it, but I always find myself right back where I started. Why can't I leave it alone?
My friends have tried to help me. "Give it up!" they tell me. "It does no good," they say. And believe me, I know.

But for some reason, like the proverbial moth drawn to the burning heretic's body, I just can't stay away.

I hate the mischaracterizations, the overly-broad descriptions, the none-too-charitable critiques. But I feel compelled to read them. I cannot stop myself. And here's what I'm beginning to believe...

Maybe this is penance.

Because in amongst all the ad hominems and the straw men, I think I perceive staring back at me... myself.

One of the best things to come out of the experience of swimming through all this bile is the thought "Well, I guess I know how the Purpose-Driven Church folks must have felt while the emerging church was sharpening its skewers and gathering its kindling." To say that we were generous in our critiques of the churches and traditions we came from would be... uh, generous. With the best of (and sometimes probably less-than-the-best-of) intentions we questioned much of the Church growth movement's methodology and even motivations. And we often, in my opinion, even sank to questioning people's commitment to the Gospel, suggesting instead that their real desire was for empire, not Kingdom.

I guess I should only speak for myself, so here goes.

I'm sorry.
I'm sorry Rick and I'm sorry Bill. I know you guys are doing what you feel God has called you to do. We are feeling the pull of the Spirit to do some things differently, but I'm sorry that as we started off on our journey, we actually had the nerve to question you in yours.

I still think that much of the American church needs reform. I still think that certain approaches in doing church lead to certain unintended consequences that may not be good for the shape and direction and health of the church in general... but through the midst of this I think I have learned that "Wounds from a friend are better than many kisses from an enemy." If I have something to say, especially the hard critique of cherished programs and ways of doing church, then maybe if I come as a friend, I'll be heard, even if what I have to say hurts.

Nobody listens to an enemy.

3 Comments

I remember reading this the first time and feeling conviction myself. It's interesting how so many of us have ended up on the same path only to retrace some steps. I thought retracing my steps was giving in and giving up. But your last couple of paragraphs explain perfectly how to retrace those steps and why we should. And not only that, you show that we aren't giving up while we do it.

Thanks Bob.

Posted by: Rich | May 24, 2006 at 05:03 AM