Community lessons from the megachurch...

I've been thinking a bit about the whole community thing recently, mulling over some thoughts about the need for intentionality and how we communicate that to people...

And I've realized that community is one area where the mega church may have it over the micro church.

Whaaaat?

No really... stick with me here...

I wish creating community was easier
But the fact is, creating community is hard work... It doesn't just happen.

And it doesn't matter if we're talking about a mega-context or a micro-one. Community still takes work.
Individuals always have two choices- anonymity or engagement.

So where does the mega-church have it over the micro church?

At the mega church, it's understood by nearly everyone what the two choices are. You know going in that if you are going to find community among these 5,000 people, it's on you.

At the micro church, people for some reason think it's different...

We have "community" as one of our core values. And one difficulty with that is that some people come, expecting community to be handed to them.

I have a number of emails in my files from people who have sort of faded away after spending some time with the evergreen community. One of the common themes is that they say things like "I just haven't found community here."

As though community is something you stumble into, something others can create for you...

The truth is, while connecting to community may be easier for some than for others, at a base level, it's the responsiblity of every individual. You either choose to connect to community, or you don't. You either do the hard work of being present, getting to know others, being known yourself, or you don't. You either throw your life in with others in community, or you don't. Anonymity or engagement...

No one can do these things for you.
All the rest of us can do is create an environment conducive to building community. It's up to you to actually make community happen in your own life. It's up to you to engage.

A wise pastor (hey Mark!) once said to me "Whenever someone says 'I just don't feel conected to this community' a perfectly legitimate response is to ask 'So why have you chosen not to connect?'"

"Helping people feel connected" is a great church buzz phrase. I think we need to ditch it, though. Here's my suggestion for a replacement: Challenging people to engage.

What do you think?

Comments

[david]

bob,

good thoughts. thanks for giving a shout-out to us mega-bots.

i think you are right that in the mega context people absolutely have to choose to get connected, but even then it may be difficult to find true community. just getting into a functional small group doesn't always guarantee it...

have you read "The Search to Belong" by Myers? great ideas about how we find different kinds of community within different contexts of relationships.

I think the greatest relational benefit of a megachuch is that it provides opportunity for engagement in all four relational spheres, thus allowing people to pursue levels of community as they are ready.

i'm just saying...

[bob]

Ha!

I have read Myers... loved it. In fact, I preached on a Psalm about intimacy with God a few weeks back and threw in some stuff in th middle on Myers' four spaces... it provoked quite a discussion on our forum. Hearing someone say from "the front" that "intimacy with everyone is NOT the goal" was quite challenging for some :)

The same three of the four spaces exist in the micro context- I really challenge people not to treat their church community like public space... to me- that's one of the big diferences between the mega and micro context. We have enough public space in our lives- church doesn't need to be that... but that's just my opinion. I hear what you are saying on the other side of that about church being all four of the spaces...

:)

[Makeesha Fisher]

I personally haven't found that to be true in my experiences with both settings.

[Kevin Rush]

I think you are dead on the issue. No matter what setting you are in, you have to decide to engage or participate. I still believe that we need to make it possible to engage. But it all boils down to whether or not the church (Christ's body) is willing to engage in life together. Great thoughts!

-Kez

[david]

i guess it's also important to note that some people are willing to engage in community, and even crave it, but who they are does not allow them to pursue it (even if the megachurch they are in has a clear path through three easily identifiable environments...).

that to say, hospitality (the most neglected biblical virtue?) demands me to regularly be inviting people into community with me...

[The Hungarian Luddite]

When a "new"person comes into the Church body the larger burden lies with the Church body to work towards making the new person a part of the body. Who better than those already there to help a person acclimate to a new place?

Think of how intimidating it is for many people the first time they show up at Church, particularly if they are shy to start with.

There are many things a body can do to make a person feel welcome and wanted. Yes, it is up to the person to "engage" but there are many things that can be done to make that engagement happen.

My primary experience with Church is of a Rural, Midwestern variety. Communities where no one moves in and you leave when you die. Churches where blood family can make up a large portion of the membership and most of the leadership.

With the above in mind.......most of these Churches are downright unfriendly and give off the attitude "Hey we are a special club. You are lucky we let you come here."

I could write for the next hour about Churches our family has visited where no one even spoke to us. Not one word (and as a rule we arrive 15 min early) We visited one Church 9 times and the Church made NO effort to engage us in any way. Even when we tried to engage people they were standoffish. After 9 visits we got the hint. (and of course no one ever contacted us to see what was up)

Now I realize that living in a rural area, and it being an area I was born in and pastored in, makes this all much more of a challenge. I never tell anyone I am a pastor. Never. It makes it harder. Yet, inevitably, someone will "expose" me :)

I have said all the above to say there is more to this than just saying it is up to the person to engage.

[bob]

I totally hear what you are saying- we spend a lot (a lot!) of effort to push people towards engaging those who are new/newer. As I said- it's up to the community to build an atmosphere conducive to community- this means being welcoming, inviting people into community, making clear all the ways an opportunities to connect within the community.

But as I said- even when the community does all it can, people still need to make a choice.

These few short thoughts weren't meant to be exhaustive on the subject... just to focus on one often forgotten aspect- the responsiblity of the individual.

[John Smulo]

Great thoughts. Totally agree, though my thoughts were wandering off along the lines of what Hungarian Luddite said. But your clarification is helpful.

There is a problem in many churches with not building an atmosphere that is conducive to building community.

[heffe]

Great commentary Bob. I can say that back when I used to go to Evergreen I wasn't prepared to engage in the way that I needed to engage but I needed the engagement to grow. It was only when I was asked to help participate in building a community that I discovered what true community was about. So this is the "challenging" that you were talking about and I think the challenging will promote growth spiritually.

So just speaking from personal experience, I know that I needed a personal "challenge" before I started to engage in a positive manner. Do you have any thoughts on what the challenging might look like at Evergreen?

[glenn]

I have found community to be elusive at many churches. It is the responsibility of the host to be welcoming, not the guest. People are looking for community, created for community, and the church is designed to be a true community.

Most efforts that I have seen to facilitate community at churches have been half-hearted, perfunctory, or non-existent. People will not barge in without being welcomed and a warm and sincere welcome goes a long. An offer to connect with someone on an interpersonal basis is also a meaningful way to say, “You can belong here.”

How well are we doing at shepherding the people that God brings our way? What do we do to try to keep them from “falling through the cracks” …and being lonely in the crowd until they leave (and then send us the afore mentioned email)? If Jesus were hanging out at your church on Sunday morning, who would he reach out and try to engage?

Individuals who darken ours doors have a story that needs to be told and heard. God is at work in their lives. We may need them as much as they need us. It amazes me at our much trouble we have just reaching out a little bit to people who come to us! Individuals are the most precious thing in God’s sight. May we not loose tract of that while we are busy “building the church!”

[PJ]

Great post and really got me thinking about the years I was involved in a mega church. I never thought of not being a part of the community. It was ingrained in the leadership and church not to let visitors and people not become involved. If people left because they didn't feel a part of community it was as you said in your post why have you chosen not to connect. I loved it and would go back to a mega church in a heart beat. I have also been in a small church of 20 people and found it harder to find connection to community. I don't think it is because they don't want to is they don't know how to. I think many of them say they want to grow and develop community, but find it hard due to other issues. It could be just the one I was involved with. Thanks again for the post off to discuss with my friend.

[Brian]

I started going to Mars Hill in Seattle almost every week about a year ago when it was just becoming a "megachurch"; it had been about seventeen years since I had attended a church regularly when I was a young teenager.

A couple of months ago, I stopped attending Mars Hill (as well as tithing) for a number of reasons, but the lack of community that you talk about in your post was one of the issues. I don't think "not being engaged" was a problem for me because I did pretty much what you were supposed to do as far as "engagement with the church community" is concerned: I went through their Gospel 101 and 102 courses, participated in the outdoors ministry, and even went to a number of community groups. The posts above from the Hungarian Luddite and Glenn capture much of my experience (the community groups seemed to be more like community cliques). In the end, I just had a whole list of questions, comments, concerns, etc. and no one whom I could talk with about them.

I went to Mars Hill for a year, and I don't think anyone will ever notice that I no longer go there.

How about a compromise? Why not have the individual responsible for engaging and the church members responsible for embracing? "Challenging people to engage and embrace" seems like a better catchphrase.

You seem to have a good church in Portland, and maybe I'll get a chance to stop by sometime when I'm in the area.

[iggy]

Brian,

I agree with you as i was also in one of the local "mega" churches in the Monterey Ca.area. I still love that church yet there was this "something" that seems to always keep me and I would guess a few others a arms length... As I reflect I think it had to do with the feeling of it being a corperation... or run a bit like a business...

As we moved to Billings, (again I am not criticing the church as bad or wrong, just that I did not feel a "fit" with that local body) there were so many hoops to jump over and through to earn your way into being engaged. I looked at another even larger church in Billings and found people leaving it to join us as they were sick of even more hoops they had to jump than we did... Both these churches try to challenge their congregations to "change" yet as i have sat through many services it is usually having to do with pop psychology than it does Jesus...

I think that the real issue is whether it is organic growth, or if it is a "shuffle of the deck" or about numbers rather than really looking at personal growth in Christ.

Again, there are many great and wonderful people who are growing and working within the system of the Mega church. I am in now way trying to put them down, I am trying to be open and talk about a few of the issues I have encountered in them.

Blessings,
iggy