Fat Lazy Pastors Who Let Themselves Go and End Up Putting Their Foot In Their Mouths...

No. This really isn't about what you think it's about...

This is about me.

I've noticed something recently. I'm saying and doing a lot more stupid things...

Why? A lot of reasons I can think of, but none that are really excuses.

I'm tired. More tired than I've ever been. A growing church, new baby, life. Not sleeping well, too many things on my brain... it all adds up to me just being less cautious with my words than when I am at my best. Less cautious, less patient, less kind.

But really- that's not the only reason. The real reason is I'm lazy and letting myself go.

It's hard work to respond kindly. To think before you speak. To sit on a sentiment for a bit before firing it off, to see if it still seems like such a hot idea 24 hours later. I used to be great (IMHO) at responding to people who have a hard question, a beef, a complaint... I gave answering a lot of thought, a lot of care, a lot of effort.

But now I'm tired- and my words get shorter, I think "people should know what I mean and give me a break." I say things I feel strongly about, and rather than taking responsibility for how and where my words land, I just shoot from the hip.

I get tired of saying the same things, making the same points, even to people who haven't heard the answer before. And whereas I might once have said it this way, I no longer have the energy for that, so I just summarize and shorten and in the process leave out the parts designed to show care and concern in my words.

I'm getting lazy and that scares me. A pastor just can't let himself or herself go like that...

This is about me.
It may be informed by other things... but it's where I'm at.

Comments

[heffe]

Bob,

Even though I am no longer a part of the evergreen community, I would like to be the first to say that I appreciate the time you spend posting blogs and keeping it real.

I know you didn't post to get comments to make you feel good, but I believe you have been a great example to Evergreen, and an ever growing online community that listens to what you have to say, even if you feel it is short and not thought out well :)

I will pray that the Lord gives you peace as you carry His yoke and that He works in some R&R for you.

Jeff

[phil]

Bob,
You are not getting lazy if you can still hear the Spirit of God speaking his conviction with grace and love softly to your heart.Try shooting from the heart first, hear what the reader is really trying to say and then reply as the Spirit leads. On occaision, and way too often, my desire to be right gets in the way of forming a compassionate reply to a brother or sister in Christ. I too have had the same reactions when burned out. You are not fat and lazy- just tired. If there is anything I can do to make this life of yours a little less taxing, please let me know.
I'll be seeing you around soon.

[robbymac]

Bob,

You wrote:

"I've noticed something recently. I'm saying and doing a lot more stupid things...

"...it all adds up to me just being less cautious with my words than when I am at my best. Less cautious, less patient, less kind."

Oh good, it's not just me... :)

Thanks for the heads-up; I've been feeling the same way myself, these past few days. DANG!

[Matt]

Dang man. I'm in exactly the same spot. I'm not a pastor by any stretch, but I feel the same way. Life can be weary, and sometimes you start comprising in some areas to compensate. I'm dealing with the same thing. It's difficult.

[jane]

Hum...maybe its genetic :)

[chris Leonardo]

yesterday Karli and I bought some soap, its little tagline was "The Soap That Floats." She thought that was a hilarious and pointless tagline and told me about it. My half-baked response was

"Hope"

I said 'hope,' because I thought of that movie 'Hope Floats.' One of Conan's characters is an un-rented copy of Hope Floats, and I loved that.

I was so tired that I didn't have the energy to make the whole joke, just said one word. I barely opened my mouth even, just sorta whispered it while looking right at her. Needless to say Karli was a bit confused. :)

[Stephen]

I am in youth ministry - talk about a job that can make you impatient fast. There is nothing better sometimes than a break. I love slowing down for a while or taking off for a long weekend. I love them so much more when I get back :) Besides the church has to know how to operate without us or its not being the church.

I love the fat man picture - LOL

[iggy]

I never gave you permission to use my picture Bob...

iggy