Driscoll Reaches New Spiritual Level, Kicks His Own Ass

Oh my... From the Wittenburg Door

Driscoll Reaches New Spiritual Level, Kicks His Own Ass
07/01/2008

By Jesse Benjamin

Mark Driscoll, Pastor of Mars Hill Church in Seattle, took a dramatic stand against girly men at a Pastor’s Conference in Houston last week.

The conference, called “re:tool and re:load,” previously billed as “jesus 2.0,” featured speakers from around the country with the stated focus of “Making the Gospel and Missiology Relevant to Post Modern Culture.” Speaking at the last session of the conference, Driscoll focused his three-and-a-half-hour talk on the need for pastors to be more alpha.

“The problem with our churches today is that the lead pastor is some sissy boy who wears cardigan sweaters, has The Carpenters dialed in on his iPod, gets his hair cut at a salon instead of a barber shop, hasn’t been to an Ultimate Fighting match, works out on an elliptical machine instead of going to isolated regions of Russia like in Rocky IV in order to harvest lumber with his teeth, and generally swishes around like Jack from Three’s Company whenever Mr. Roper was around.”

Pacing the stage in a vaguely threatening manner, Driscoll focused on Biblical examples. “Jesus and Paul were serious dudes. They had teeth missing. Jesus was a carpenter, Paul was in prison. These guys didn’t eat tofu dogs and bean sprouts. They didn’t play tennis. If there were trucks back in their times, they would have been doing driveway lube jobs on a Saturday afternoon. Same thing with King David. Yeah, he might have played a lyre, but he slaughtered thousands of guys.”

The 300 pastors from around the country roared with approval, even though many of them had heard the same labored formulations at previous conferences called “reGeneration” and “resurge and reform.”

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Comments

[andy]

The scary thing is that I wasn't sure if this was satire...

[blake]

im still not sure

confirmation?

[Jessi]

This is cynical and definitely falls under not believing the best about someone I guess... but after hearing this kind of rhetoric, I sort of say "methinks he protesteth too much..." and in the back of my mind think I wouldn't be surprised if someday someone unearths a homosexual encounter involving Mr. Driscoll...

Awful, huh?

[bob hyatt]

Whoa, whoa, whoa...

Okay- everyone knows the Wittenburg Door is a Christian Satire deal, right???
this isn't real people!!!

I repeat- this article is a parody.

Yes, it's a problem that Mark carries himself in such a way that it's difficult to actually parody him... But.

Let's not take this past a little fun into casting actual character accusations on a brother.
We might disagree with Mark here or there- but let's be charitable, even as we have some fun with some if his more over the top "guy with a side of guy" macho-ness.

And even if anything like that did come up- what would it matter?

[Jessi]

Yeah, realize it's a parody, but only funny because it's so how he really is. I've just had the thought before, because I'm just in awe how much he takes what is CULTURALLY masculine here and makes it the "standard" for Christian men.

Wouldn't matter to me if anything came up, (though I think it would put some of Mark's male devotees in a bit of a tailspin) I guess I've just heard enough real stuff from M.D. to make me wonder why he's SO hung up on the manly-man thing. Also, I'll concede it probably grates on me more than usual because I've been in the process of trying to re-(or de-)program myself from the "keep women in the church down" mindset, (I'm a female church leader who is still recovering...) so, sorry if my comment was too over the top. That probably was out of line... (And when I said "awful, huh?" I was meaning the fact that I would think it, not that it could happen...not that it matters...just clarifying).