No Time...

"Got no time
Got no mind
For the line
In my life
No time to think
Time for sleep now
Time to sink way into the blue, dear"

-Alexi Murdoch, Blue Mind

I'm not sure how it happened- how I got so busy, so weighted down with so many things. I think maybe it was the inevitable and simultaneous growth of all the areas of my life- family, pastoring, side business... but one thing after another has been crowded out. Exercise, reading, writing... 

The tragedy is, the things that have all been crowded out filled two functions. First, they were things I needed, things that gave me pleasure and health and personal growth. But more, these things I wanted to do were the things that fueled and made possible the things I have to do. They gave me energy, vitality and creativity for the tasks at hand. 

By God's grace, I haven't been running on an empty tank, but I think I can see it from where I'm at. What all this has been working in me is more of a desperate dependence on Jesus to get me through, as opposed to a woe-is-me, I'm-sooo-busy mentality. Few days find me making it through without at some point uttering something like "God, please help me here. I don't think I can do this." I feel as though somehow, miraculously, my capacity has increased. 

And yet, while I've been gettin' jive done,  I'm tired and feeling uninspired. I need to read more. I need to write more. I need exercise both physical and mental. I need to join a gym again, and maybe I need to pick a blog fight just for old time's sake? :)

"So watch your time...

Time descends
Let it spill quietly
From your hands
Oh, and the time is at hand
When all things under the sky
Go free of time
Time is passing you by
Got no time
And I am drifting

Yes, I am drifting "

Comments

[anne jackson]

I heart Alexi Murdoch.

[Dan Brown]

Sorry for the malaise you're feeling, brother; I know how bad that can suck.