bob.blog

Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey

Let's have a vote. 

Which is more disturbing?

1. That a worship leader, even one with the requisite cool spiky hair,  leather bracelet and untucked plaid would try this

or

2. An ENTIRE CROWD would go along with something this demonstrably goofy?

(Bonus:  you may also vote for the Holy Ghost Hokey Pokey Healing Testimonies)

 

Register your vote below!

End Times Anthem

Okay- Bonus points to anyone who

1. can take John Darby/Hal Lindsey/Tim LaHaye's reading of Revelation and put it into song

2. rhyme "whore" with "sore"- Gold star for the line "When Babylon the whore gets fried."

3. call Barack Obama "the Leopard King." That sounds totally badass.

 

And just for the record- even most good dispensationalists would say this guy's a few fries short of a Happy Meal™

Points off for turning the Good News into really, really bad (and weird) news. Sheesh.

(Update: This guy is a Catholic Dispensationalist. I think quite possibly the first in history. He's also the "Third Eagle of the Apocalypse" AND the "Co-Prophet of the End Times." Yeah.)

(Update 2: Use a condom, miss the Rapture!)

(ht: Aaron Stewart)

I *REALLY* hope she said yes....

The Perfect Video...

I love this. I can think of about 15 different tension points that regularly converge on this blog (Calvinism vs Arminianism, Crappy Christian Culture vs Quit Making Fun of Christians, Anything Having to DO With KJV ONLY Colleges, etc) that this video hits. Also, it's just really bad. 

Enjoy. And tell me what you think in the comments! :)

 

ht: Dustin Bagby 

Oh My...

Working thru 1st Corinthians as a community convinces me: Paul would have devoted at least a chapter, maybe two, to telling these people how dumb they are being. He'd probably go a little easier on the mostly teen crowd (because they don't know better). But FauxHawk? Definitely getting called out... 

My Nomination: Worst Book Title Ever

And the award...

...for the most Cringe-Inducingly Ironic Book Cover of the Decade goes to...

Yeah? Just how suspicious were they???

"Suspicious neighbors said they had noticed blood running out of the house's gutters, as well as blood-soaked bandages and even bits of flesh thrown into an open lot near the house, according to Reuters."

But...

I'll agree with Frank Viola on this one... this is wrong. So wrong.

These people have lost their minds.

(as an aside- the people who made the video and included the verses at the end about "reverencing the sanctuary" tend towards a little kookiness of their own (you know- the Rick Warren is a tool of the devil meant to lead us into a one world government kind... :)

Southern Baptists continue...

... their long trek towards the irrelevant, head-in-the-sand corner of the room known as fundamentalism and a massive effort to drive young, missional leaders out of their denomination.

The Missouri Baptist Convention has just voted in a "no-partnership" rule with Acts 29.

(By the way, for the record, though I don't really run in Baptist circles any more, my ordination is in the International Baptist Convention, originally a foreign mission of the SBC. And Acts 29 rejected us based on our views on women. How's that for full disclosure? :) )

The Motion:

"Motion. Effective Jan 1, The Acts 29 Network is an organization which the MBC Exec Bd. Staff will not be working with, supporting, or endorsing in any manner at anytime.

Amendment. While recognizing the autonomous nature of all areas of MBC life beyond that of the Executive Board Staff, the MBC Executive Board directs the Church Planting Department and other ministry departments to not provide CP dollars toward those affiliated with the Acts 29 Network.

Motion as amended passed by a vote of 28-10."

Will the rest of the SBC begin to follow suit, with other state conventions joining in the dogpile on Acts 29? Or will they disavow this silliness and join Scott Thomas in urging the MBC to reverse this ridiculous decision?

For those wondering, the issue seems to be that Mark Driscoll has a beer now and again (and Darrin Patrick's church (The Journey) has a regular event in a pub called Beer and Theology or some such. That's why they are de-funding church plants in Missouri.

Make sense?

(More on this at the blog with possibly the creepiest banner ever: The  "Founders Ministry Blog"
And best comment on the whole thing: "Have we really come to the point as a denomination that we encourage muscle-men power teams to come and blow up hot water bottles and break bricks over their heads, but we cannot condone what basically amounts to a Francis Schaeffer approach to cultural engagement with the lost? Acts 29 doesn’t walk on water, but at least there is a serious-minded approach to the gospel that leaves the buttons, balloons, and baloney in the dust.")

Yeah...

"In November, Dollar told CNN that his church was not in violation of any tax laws. "We've always said at the very beginning we have no problems if it's a valid request," Dollar said. "And, you know, we comply with the IRS."

Dollar is making no apologies for living in a $2.5 million mansion in Georgia, driving a church-bought Rolls Royce and having access to a luxury Manhattan apartment. He said the church owns some of his luxury items and he bought the rest with his own money.

Dollar also told CNN he did turn over some documents to Grassley's office and was confident they would be sufficient. According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, one of those documents spelled out how much money the church raked in last year: $69 million.

Again, Dollar makes no apologies. His prosperity ministry preaches a form of Word of Faith theology, which teaches God wants the faithful to have the best in life, including material things.

He said Grassley is sticking his nose where it doesn't belong -- in church doctrine."

Yeah...

The rest here.

I probably should just keep my mouth shut, but...

Some people take themselves so seriously it would be laugh-out-loud funny if it weren't so incredibly sad...

From the footer of an email (names withheld to protect the ridiculous):

"The information herein is protected by the pastor-client privilege and is therefore is to remain strictly confidential. It is intended for review and private use only by the designated recipient named above. This email and its contents may not be reproduced in any manner without the expressed written permission of XXXXX and XXXXX Ministries.
 
If you are not the designated recipient your review, use and/or dissemination of the information herein is not authorized by the sender, and may subject you to civil and/or criminal liability. If you have received this electronic mail by mistake, please notify the sender immediately. Thank you."

Aye carumba...

What really gets me about this is the combination of grammatical errors with pomposity all wrapped up nice and neat in a cozy little burrito of cluelessness regarding "pastor-client privilege." Just classic.

Man marries dog...

On the face of it, this is a pretty funny story:

NEW DELHI - A man in southern India married a female dog in a traditional Hindu ceremony as an attempt to atone for stoning two other dogs to death — an act he believes cursed him — a newspaper reported Tuesday.

P. Selvakumar married the sari-draped former stray named Selvi, chosen by family members and then bathed and clothed for the ceremony Sunday at a Hindu temple in the southern state of Tamil Nadu, the Hindustan Times newspaper said.

Selvakumar, 33, told the paper he had been suffering since he stoned two dogs to death and hung their bodies from a tree 15 years ago.

                        

Hilarious.

Sort of.

In actuality, this is no different than what many of us do. Whether it's giving to charity to make up for dissing that homeless guy way back when, or being nice to someone because they remind us of someone we mercilessly tormented back in school, or whatever... We find endless creative ways  to atone for our own sins. At least this guy is being conscious about what most of us keep unconscious.

The thing is, once you start on the atonement road, you find it's a cruel hamster-wheel indeed.
I mean, how many "nices" make up for one "cruelty"? 10-1? 20-1? Why does my conscience STILL torment me...

I read this story and instantly thought how good the good news of the Gospel would be to this man.
You don't have to atone for your own sins. In fact, you can't.

But Jesus can, and did.

And you really don't have to marry a freakin' dog...

Ladies and Gentlemen...

I give you, quite possibly, the most ignorant, wrong-headed critique of the emerging church EVER.

(And brother, that's saying something!)

I give you: Why Al Qaeda Supports the Emergent Church

I was pretty sure... actually, I was hoping this was a joke.
It's not.

That's right you lefty-loving, Osama-cuddling, cappuccino-sipping, truth-relativising, surrender monkeys... YOU are losing us this here war on terror!

Support the war effort! Burn a McLaren book today!

oohhh.... that's gotta hurt

I should feel worse for this woman than I do, but...

She paid $800 for a spot at the front of a line hoping to buy $16,000 worth of iPhones... and then was told "one per customer!"

And no, she didn't get her $800 back.

Ouch.

Watch the sad tale (and the snarky recipient of said $800) here

the return of Lucas Labrador...

Yep... This one is about women covering their heads in worship.

Did I post this already? Lucas' videos all kind of run together...

This guy's tone consistently leaves me with my mouth hanging open in astonishment. I can't imagine what his daughters (if he has any) experienced growing up in a home with a dad who said things like:
"This is a man's world and a man's church first, women come second..."

and

"A woman was created from the man for the man. She was not made as a stand alone, self-sufficient person but is seen to be part of and subject to her father until she passes to being part of and subject to her husband. She is never a stand-alone self sufficient person equal to a man in Scripture. Never."

Yeah...

Uh... err... oh my.

Devil is a Liar

I Don't Need a Vice Christian

And (from their greatest hits album...)

Trinity Schminity

and speaking of crazy...

You have got to kidding me...

Stealing from the poor to give to the rich!

Riddle: What's the ONLY thing worse than a church trying to boost attendance by giving away a house?

Answer: A church trying to boost attendance by giving away a house, and then NOT giving the house to the winner.

I won't say much about how angry this stuff makes me...

A couple of choice quotes:

"Without Walls... is one of the largest independent nondenominational churches, collecting $40 million a year in revenue. Detractors say its pastors borrowed $170,000 from an elderly widow and never kept promises to care for her or pay it back. Since 2000, five businesspeople have sued or filed liens against the church or the pastors, accusing them of not paying bills or reneging on deals.

This week, Dupree said she is another victim.

...

"At first he said he'd go to his grave to fix this and make it right for me," she said. "Then it turned into finding me a rental home in Ybor City that one of the other pastors owned. I kept telling him, 'No, that wasn't the deal. I want my house.'"

By March 2003, Dupree gave up and moved to the apartment in Riverview.

"I finally accepted it was nothing but a publicity stunt," she said.

She said she spoke with an attorney, but he told her she had no case without a written agreement.

In his statement, White likened the situation to people who win prizes on television shows, only to learn the winnings are heavily taxed.

"We videotaped the winner walking through the house, but unfortunately the winner was unable to use the down payment because she failed to qualify for the rest of the mortgage on the home," the statement said. "In hindsight, our essay contestants should have been prequalified for mortgage loans before judged."

White said Dupree received two months' rent for her apartment and all the furniture in the Temple Terrace home. Dupree said she got the furniture, donated by a local store, but no money for rent.

She no longer attends Without Walls or any other church."

Read the rest here

Sign of the Apocalypse # 325

Sanjaya gets his own TV show...

Surely Phil can't be serious?!?

Okay last bit on the sad flaying of Dan Kimball over at Pyromaniacs at the hands of Phil Johnson. I promise.

I just can't let this particular bit of ironic hypocrisy (ironic in the "Alanis Morisette" way, that is) go.

David Rudd gets to the heart of the issue with:

"there you go again.

only this time, phil, you are taking yourself out of context to make a convenient argument.

you quote yourself as saying:

"Consider the implications of that: If that's really Dan Kimball's position, then he has in effect repudiated the Protestant Reformation..."

"implication of THAT" is key here. implications of what?

in this thread you are suggesting that Kimball's "repudiation of the Protestant Reformation" is his lack of precise language regarding the Reformation credo, "sola fide".

that's not what you meant back then. back when you first said it, you were speaking in much more general terms. you were questioning dan's commitment to anything beyond Nicea, and you were wondering about his willingness to "fight" for the core doctrines.
...

this whole thread began with very general accusations. dan responded with general statements. it seems that every time dan responds, the criticism becomes more focused. that's fine, but if what you wanted from the get-go was a precise theological statement from dan regarding his ideas about what lies at the heart of orthodox/reformed theology, you should have asked for that first.

that way dan would not continue to take needless attacks from people who really don't know what he believes..."

To which Phil responded with a comment that will no doubt be in serious contention for Least Self Aware Comment Made On A Blog for Year 2007:

What an utterly ridiculous argument: You as reader get to decide what I as author meant. There you see how postmodernism has made a perfect hash of the very concept of truth.

Long Pause...

Anyone else catch that???

This whole brouhaha started because Dan Kimball made the simple statement: "When we move beyond what the Nicene Creed discusses, I feel that it is not as easy to be saying so confidently that we have things all figured out. I wonder quite often if, beyond the Nicene Creed, we end up shaping some theology or even choosing what theology we believe because of personality and temperament"

From that Phil concluded:
1. Kimball gives the distinct impression that he thinks any doctrine not settled by the time of the first ecumenical council is not really worth fighting over.

2. He has in effect repudiated the Protestant Reformation, not to mention Augustine's refutation of Pelagius and the Council of Carthage's condemnation of Pelagianism (which occurred nearly a hundred years after the Nicene Council).

When pressed that these were RIDICULOUS inferences from the actual comment that formed the basis of all this, Phil insisted he was merely trying to get Dan to answer one simple question, "I've been asking the very same question since the original post in this thread, and anyone who wants to verify that can do a search in the comments there."

So- which of the following 19 questions that Phil posed to Dan in the course of this dicsussion is the One? (I'm cutting and pasting verbatim from a comment here):

"First question from the original post: Is “Everything beyond that … negotiable? —or at least he dismisses all differences on such matters as consequences of a person’s genetic predisposition, personality quirks, or whatever.”

Second question at 7:13 am, 4/6: are “the things deemed “core” beliefs in the ECM … a vague and moving target”?

Third question at 8:07 am: are “Dan Kimball’s doctrinal convictions … vague and moving”?

4th question at 12:17 pm: “why (do) you (Kimball) keep suggesting that the Nicene council is a dividing line between what we can affirm “confidently” and “what . . . we believe because of personality and temperament,”?”

5th and 6th questions at 12:53 pm: Does Kimball “think(s) any doctrine not settled by the time of the first ecumenical council is not really worth fighting over.”? And “Would he be willing to fight for, say, the Protestant position on sola fide, or the authority of Scripture, or the doctrine of penal substitution, or the principle of inerrancy—and if so, why did he scold Driscoll for fighting for issues like that?”

7th question at 2:06 pm: “would (Kimball say he) regards the doctrine of justification by faith as one of those things “the Scriptures do make clear.”?

8th, 9th, 10th and 11th questions at 5:01 pm: “where do you think the boundaries of essential Christian doctrine are properly drawn?” and “Why did you draw such a line at Nicea in the first place?; and, Are there any “post-Nicene” articles of faith you are certain about enough to regard them as essential doctrines of authentic biblical Christianity?” and “(would you) most likely embrace as an authentic Christian someone who signs off on the Nicene Creed but also teaches a purely Pelagian works-system of salvation.”?

12th question at 9:54 am, 4/12/07 on the “Update” post: “how (do) we define the essence of Christian belief. If we can agree that the Nicene Creed is not a sufficient summary of everything essential to Christianity (and Dan Kimball says he agrees with that), then what is the best starting point for understanding the essentials (the gospel or a 4th century creed)?

13th and 14th questions at 10:18 am: Is Kimball “retreating from historic Protestant doctrinal standards in order to “become more of a Nicene Creed doctrinal statement believer”? and what is “his position on sola fide”?

15th, 16th, 17th, and 18th question at 4:24 pm: “(does he regard) the historic Protestant principle of sola fide as essential to authentic Christianity”? and is “ sola fide as essential to the gospel message”? and “Is Dan Kimball advocating a kind of “Reformed Catholicism,” or would he still affirm a classically Protestant doctrinal position?” and “why did he not simply say so in a book devoted to describing Emerging doctrine—especially when not saying so put him in a position of seeming to disagree with the very clear position Mark Driscoll had laid out?”

19th question (but per Phil Johnson, actually his first), from the original post and in the 7:06 pm/ 4/12/07 comment under the “Update” title: Is Dan Kimball repudiating the Reformation by dismissing differences outside the Nicene Creed? [“If that’s really Dan Kimball’s position, then he has in effect repudiated the Protestant Reformation, not to mention Augustine’s refutation of Pelagius and the Council of Carthage’s condemnation of Pelagianism (which occurred nearly a hundred years after the Nicene Council).]

My favorite quote by Phil: “I’ve been asking the very same question since the original post in this thread, and anyone who wants to verify that can do a search in the comments there.” At 6:19 pm, 4/12/07 in the “Update” post. Um, I did that Phil and it doesn’t look like the same question to me."

Aside from the clear and manifest fact that when faced with a poop-storm over his original skewering of Kimball, Phil began an obvious program to minimize damage by
1. apologizing for the easy stuff
2. driving harder at a target which he by no means had defined (at least anywhere outside his noggin) in the first thread
3. insisting over and over and over that Dan had refused to answer questions that Dan had answered
4. dodging and weaving like Jackie Chan in "Legend of the Drunken Master."

and then to top it all off, has the gall to rebuke someone for thinking that they "as reader get to decide what I as author meant" the EXACT offense he committed against Kimball to start this whole sad affair off.

Why am I writing this here? Because in true Slice of Laodicea Fashion, the comments at Team Pyro have actually gone like this:
“We need precise answers.”
“It’s a valid question.”
“Answer me.”
“That’s not sufficient. You’ve not answered me well enough.”
“I don’t believe the words you are saying correctly cover your true belief.”
“Matthew 18 is a cop-out.”
“I’m only trying to discern.”
“He hasn’t answered my question and obviously I have the right to an answer.”
“Comments closed.”

My original assessment stands- Phil and his buddies (you know who you are) owe Dan an apology for the shabby, shameful way you've treated him. And how about this- quite complaining that "the Emerging Church" refuses to answer questions if you are not going to acknowledge when we show up and do just that.

Uh...

Seriously... where are you people coming from? I mean, most of you are pretty nice and all, but someone just left this comment on an old entry:

"Hi Bob.

Thanks for sharing this text with us. I am glad that with the establishing of Israel Jeruzalem is back in the christian hands now. And that the bloodshed cauzed by satan must be gone. However when I visited the apostolic Genootschap or spoke with members of it, they ensured me that Jesus had already come back. In England it is even better with the apostolistic Community, there they have an apostel resurrection field, filled with apostels who will stand up in the last days. Also the pope is said to be personification of Jesus here on earth. He is the supreme power between God and men. And we have a new one, since the last Jesus died.
Or what about David from Wacco, or the golden tables from the mormonic church who were created by God as a addition to the bible; or the Jesus in the Koran who says that we are all moslims. There are so many Jesusses and things written about Jesus that it can no longer be considered as the work of one man. In africa there was the re appearance of Jesus one lifetime after another for many ages. Sometimes more than two at the same time. It is wonderfull news isnt it? I encounter it on the internet too, Jesus has come back and started a religous community here and there. Look and you will find, the bible states. I will knock on your door and wait.

However what I dont agree on is that god can take away our responsibility. We are always responsible for our selves. God can give an opinion but that doesn't remove the responsibility for it. If one has killed, one has killed. If one has lied, one has lied. God cannot undo that. We are glad that God forgives us and that He is not a harsh and cruel hearted God, but undoing the past, with all the consequences that it had, that is even to much for God almighty. If you kill a man, he is dead. If you steal from someone you are rich. No consequences of that act can be undone or were undone by God.
Even the chosen people of God, the jews, still mourn and lament over the 6 million who just ceased to exist because of a few human destruction factories. Ofcourse God loves them, and they are blessed by God for they are Gods chosen people from many real pacts, but God cannot undo the acts or the consequences of those murderous acts. All he can do is forgive the ones who did it and thus avoid being known as a harsh and cruel God. He wants to be a God of love and forgiveness."

Uh... okay?

It's this kind of stuff that makes me want to lock my car's doors when I'm driving around...

worst lyrics transcribing EVER...

I'm leading the singing parts of our worship for Evergreen tomorrow. I was looking up some chords online for one song and found this doozy of a transcribing job. I'm thinking this person's first language is NOT English... because if it is...

whew.

"My Jesus, I love you
I know thou are mine
To thee all the follies of sin I resent
My gracious redeemer
My savior, art thou
If ever I'll love you"

Uh...

Comments?

(ht: Rachel)

crazy, i say **CRAZY** nutball fundamentalists...

Let's start light and easy... here's the Ballad of the Pussy Footin' Preacher.

Next, this here is a certain Dr. Hyles, August 1972 just before the opening of Hyles-Anderson College in Indiana.
LISTEN

And this here is his successor (and son-in-law), a Dr. Schaap, August of 2003... It's amazing how much progress they made in that 30 years, eh?
LISTEN


The really scary part? All the "amen"ing going on as this guy rants about co-ed swimming parties...

Aye carumba...

And here is something wild. You can hear all the youth cheering every time Hyles gets mentioned... Apparently, this was a video they showed at a youth conference. Can anyone tell me what the difference between this and a cult is, because I'm just not seeing it. Aberrant doctrine (King James-onlyism), wacky practices... leader worship follwed by nepotism...
Scary.
It's long, but...

Southern Baptist lurch toward...

The SBCers are at it again, and apologies in advance for anyone whose toes might feel a bit stomped by this... but in a ridiculous effort to show their base that they can keep things in line and downright hierarchical the SBC (Southern Baptist Convention) school Southwestern has told a female professor "she would not get tenure" and has encouraged her to find another job.
Why? Because (drumroll)...

She's female.

So why was she hired in the first place, in a tenure-track position to teach Hebrew to seminarians?

"Dr. Klouda's hiring as a professor in the school of theology, which occurred before (current school president) Dr. Patterson arrived in 2003, represented a "momentary lax of the parameters."
...
Southwestern, he said, has gone back to its "traditional, confessional and biblical position" that women should not instruct men in theology or biblical languages.

Aye carumba.

In a related note, the SBC will vote on a motion to censure (in absentia) Priscilla, mentioned throughout the New Testament, both for teaching Apollos, an early seminarian, and for consistently being mentioned in the biblical text ahead of her husband.

Okay, that last part was made up. But to be perfectly honest, it wouldn't surprise me. Increasingly, in an effort to stick to fewer and fewer verses, the Southern Baptists are ignoring more and more of God's Word.

No matter what your theological position on women as pastors, preventing a woman from teaching Hebrew is simply asinine.

Read the rest of the sad, shameful story here

(ht: Scot McKnight)

Slice!

I've been really quiet lately about the internet car-wreck known as Slice of Laodicea... In the same way I get mad when people slow down on the freeway to view an accident, I just haven't wanted to give them any more attention than they were already getting.
However, I got this email last night...

Hey Bob,

Its pretty funny I set up a parody of Slice OF’ with my own parody of them, sliceOlaodicea.com, and apparently even though I’ve taken full credit for the blog and even put my pic on it, I keep being accused of being you. Now, just to warn you, you may not want to be in any way associated with me. I’ve full fledged apostate liberal according to Reverend Pastor Teacher Brother Dan Silvas…. And he may be right. Anyway, I just got my last email accusing me of being you, so I thought I’d check out my apparent alter-ego. Good Blog,

Grace and Peace,
Patrick Lane

Thanks, Patrick. :)

Here's what happened. More and more people were getting fed up with Slice, posting on Emergent What?, creating their own satire sites to let the air out of Ingrid and Co...
And she got mad and took her ball home.
One day, without warning, Slice of Laodicea was simply gone. (Personally, I think maybe she was emabarrassed about calling out Patrick about his "anonymous" blog, which wasn't... and then hers was discovered. Ouch)

Good riddance, thinks I. But, alas, it was too good to be true. They were simply re-tooling and attempting to come up with a name so incredibly bland as to be beyond satire.
The Christian Research Network.

Ahh...
Well, I question the "research", and to put the name "Christian" on the outright slander that often comes from the keyboards of those involved seems a bit wrong... Other names have been suggested.

But hey, if they want to be a network, more power to them. A closed pseudo-blog with multiple authors is more like what it really is, but at least this way they don't have to deal with snide comments from people like me (who, by the way, hasn't commented on Slice in months) or Patrick (who for the record, is NOT me).

All that clear?

The offense of the cross...

Yes- the cross is offensive.
(ht- Brad Andrews)

"...the semester just completed saw a significant debate over the role and visibility of religion at William & Mary, ending with a letter released just before Christmas by President Gene R. Nichol. In the letter, Nichol admitted that his “own missteps” and poor communication have contributed to the anger over his decision to remove an altar cross from permanent display in the chapel of the college’s Christopher Wren building. But while Nichol announced some minor modifications to the policy, he is largely standing behind it...

Nichol, who became president last year, said that he has quickly become fond of the Wren Chapel, calling it “the most ennobling and inspiring place on one of the most remarkable campuses in the world.”

As he learned more about the college, Nichol write, “I began to understand that the experience of the chapel is not the same for all of us.” He said that “a number of members of our community have indicated to me that the display of a cross — in the heart of our most important and defining building — is at odds with our role as a public institution.” To such students, he wrote, the cross divides those on the campus into “insiders and outsiders,” into “those for whom our most revered space is keenly inviting and those whose presence is only tolerated.”

He stressed that these concerns were not just theoretical. “I have been saddened to learn of potential students and their families who have been escorted into the chapel on campus tours and chosen to depart immediately thereafter. And to read of a Jewish student, required to participate in an honor council program in the chapel during his first week of classes, vowing never to return to the Wren. Or to hear of students, whose a capella groups are invited to perform there, being discomfited by the display of the cross. Or of students being told in times of tragedy of the special opening of the chapel for solace — to discover that it was only available as a Christian space. Or to hear from a campus counselor that Muslim students don’t take advantage of the chapel in times of spiritual or emotional crisis. Or to learn of the concerns of parents, immensely proud for the celebration of a senior’s initiation into Phi Beta Kappa, but unable to understand why, at a public university, the ceremony should occur in the presence of a cross.”

The rest of the story

Some TV Evangelist Exposes...

First, WV Grant, who recently got sprung from the pen after doing 16 months for tax evasion. Looks like he's doing okay these days...

Next, Bob Larson. Back in the early 90's, I used to listen to a lot of Larson. I bought his book (Larson's Big Book of Cults!)... It slowly dawned on me that he's completely nuts... Here's the expose:

And last (but certainly not least), Robert Tilton... No expose needed. All you have to do is show a clip (pretty much any clip) from his show. Who is watching this guy?? Who in the world is sending this bottom-feeder money??? What is up with the poodles??? (and wife number 3)...

painful...

painful and uncomfortable...

The whole story is here

I won't post the remarks that led to this (they are disgusting and reprehensible... truly some sickening stuff), but if you really, really need to, you can see them here. Before you click, though- understand... this is rough, rough stuff. The man says some things in an effort to respond to heckling hostility that are really, really gross. He got caught off-guard, and was completely unable to pull it out of a tail spin. The crash is shocking. I don't recommend this video for the faint of heart.

I really feel for this guy in the age of instant communication- poorly chosen words get big play- instantly.

Mail Call!

From the Mail Bag...

"Actually I will make a deal with you, you stop publishing articles that are leading people to deception, and you stop allowing articles that speak lies and unjustly attack Orthodox beliefs and I will stop posting on your web site.

If you are a "Christian" as you say you are, then you would not allow these types of articles in the first place.You know that to paint a false perception of something is a lie and one of the ten commandments is: "Thou shalt not bear false witness against your neighbor"

You allow authors to post articles that use key negative words over an over in their articles to create a specific perception of Orthodox beliefs. In today's "Parrot" society these key words are the only things that remain in peoples minds over a period of time. This is a modern advertising and marketing technique, and people have become brainwashed to this method. They no longer analyze and research whether what is said is true or false. The sheer weight and number of occurances of something being said or writtne seems to make it "true" in society today.


And in the opposite manner Emergents use key positive words to describe themselves and what they believe, words that they know will resonate with people today. I am not a conspiracy theorist. I believe that people become brainwashed and conditioned by the society and culture they live in, to think in specific chanels of thought. In our media and technology driven society people today are "mainlined" with specific information to think and live accroding to specific opinions and beliefs. This has always been a part of society but it is at its most pervasive today because of the sheer volume of information that is taken into a person's brain on any given day.

Emergents are a classic example of those who have become "addicted" to this "mainlining" of cultural information. Like a drug addict or an alcoholic, their neurological processes have become so altered, their thinking processes so changed that they do not consciously know any different form of thinking.

With regards

aye carumba...

Not to get too critical or anything... and... uhh... at the risk of having this video show up on Slice of Laodicea...

This clip is basically a compendium of the all the reasons why I'm not now and probably never will again be part of a big seeker-megachurch thingy...

Whoa.

Make sure to hang in there long enough to get to the slightly crunky breakdancing in the middle...

Here's... Jesus!

Hey!
Jesus came back!

Most of us have missed him so far...

Dang it!

freakin' nutjob...

Chick Tracts LIVE!

So... if you grew up going to church, you probably read (and loved, at least for awhile) Chick Tracts...

It wasn't until we grew up that we realized that Jack Chick was slightly nutty... you know, with the King James only stuff, and the Catholic church being in league with Satan and Nazis to destroy the Jews and... well, pretty much everything in those things was slightly nutty.

Anyway- what if one of those tracts was made into a live action video???

Whoa!

UPDATE: Read (and compare) the original here

ht:seanno

Armor of God... PJ's!

Oh come on people... you are not even trying now.

Armor of God Pjs...

And the PJs company has a statement of faith.

Let's all read that one again. The PJs company felt the need to enummerate their belief system, so that those who want to buy their Christian PJs only from like-minded believers would feel comfortable clothing their kids in these...

HT: Chris Leo...

signage...

from This Is Broken...

kitlers...

So... I really, really should be finishing up some media... but I'm fascinated by this...

It's Cats Who Look Like Hitler... dot Com.

I really don't need to explain that to anyone, do I?

And speaking of poking fun...

This REALLY creeps me out...

Having an animated Jesus make announcements on your church website is just wrong, wrong, wrong for oh so many reasons....

And the tagline "This site was created and inspired by God through the Power Of The Holy Spirit" needs a little work as well... I'm just saying...

ChurchShoppers.com

So... should we list our church on ChurchShoppers.com (tagline: "Stop church hopping and start Church Shopping!")?
Comments from evergreeners?

Completely kidding...

Ugh.

hot or not...

Is your church website Hot or Not?

Oh my...

website redesign...

I'm seriously considering redoing our church website to look more like this...
Any comments?
:)

Schismatics...

For our Schismatic Friends coming from Slice and Old Truth, some good thoughts from your favorite whipping boy (well, after Rick Warren, anyway) Brian McLaren:

When people who claim to love the Bible launch unfair, inaccurate, unreflective, and mean-spirited attacks, especially when they do so on a public and international forum like the internet, they are not only hurting me and sometimes my readers (which they may not care about) – they may also be hurting the cause of Christ (which they do care about). After all, the Bible clearly says we must not bear false witness, spread rumors, or indulge in uncharitable or unwholesome speech. It says we should do to others as they do to us and act justly. It asserts that our love for one another reflects on the credibility of our message. It tells us we should examine ourselves and look at obstructions our own eyes (which would include flaws in our own viewpoint or perspective) before we try to perform eye surgery on someone else. This kind of behavior among people who claim to love the Bible, Jesus, Christianity, orthodoxy, and truth brings dishonor on these very things.

More of Brian's great response here

(My favorites of the Schismatics (I label them that because of the damage they do to the Body of Christ, seeing themselves as a "Remnant" and everyone else as illegitimate... it was for just such people that Paul wrote about various small body pieces saying to the rest of the Body "I don't need you.") have this fun thing going where they will say all kinds of ridiculous things about you (The Emerging Church practices occultism! The Emerging Church is part of an end-times effort by the Anti-Christ to unite all religions under a one-world government!) and then refuse to allow you to respond by banning or otherwise excluding you. It's as though at a public gathering (the internet), a small group of people are talking very, very loudly, very, very rudely about YOU, and when you attempt to enter the conversation, they, with great umbrage, declare it somehow a private conversation.)

Honest, Doc...

...I have no idea how that got there!!!

Mohammad, who is serving a four-year sentence for making liquor, prohibited for Muslims, said he was shocked when he was first told the cause of his discomfort. He swears he didn't know the [light] bulb was there.

Operation Removes Lightbulb from... uh...You Know...

talk about setting the bar LOW...

I think some people have some pretty low standards for their gods...

Thousands of people are queuing up to worship a man with a 13 inch tail in India.

Chandre Oram, from Alipurduar in West Bengal, is regarded as an incarnation of Hindu monkey god Hanuman.

Mr Oram also loves climbing trees and eating bananas, according to the Press Trust of India.

He said: "People have a lot of faith in me. They are cured of severe ailments when they touch my tail. I believe I can do a lot of good to those who come to me with devotion."

More story here.

Picture (if you really, really need to see this...) here.

HT: Dilbert

Fun with nuts!

A while back I got this comment on some post or other:

Is the world ready for the Truth and Wisdom yet?

If you truly want to understand the symbology, ancient wisdom, and ancient history that neither the DaVinci Code, Gnostic translations, nor Christianity have portrayed accurately or fully, then read my articles and FREE E-Book.

Uh... okay. Tell me more! It continued:

oh, this is rich...

I'm trying hard not to give Sl*ce of La*dicea any more publicity... but this is too rich.

Emergingchurch.info published a story about some missional nudists (‘Naturists Unashamedly Doing Evangelism and Surfing’ (NUDES) ) awhile back... and now the folks over at Sl*ce are up in arms.

A story about missional nudists. Missional nudists led by the Rev. Adam Sapple. And Eve Ennsong. A story published on the first of April, 2006.

The comments are pure Sl*ce (and yes, I've tried to tell them it's a joke... they're not listening).

Every time I hear you say "when will the madness stop?", I look upward and whisper "today, LORD?". A while back on Slice, there were other comments about sinning to do ministry. 1Thess 5:22 "Avoid the appearance of evil"; John 14:15 "If you love Me, keep My commandments"; Leviticus 18 says of nakedness "it is wickedness". This is utter nonsense and blasphemy.

and

This nonsense of having a nude ministry is ridiculous. How is this sharing the Gospel? If anything it is a stumbling block to most. I can minister to nudists but I can remain fully clothed. I am fed up with emergent and seeker-friendly types pushing the envelope on sensibility. If we used this same approach to those who watch porn we would be making a porn movie, stopping half way through, sharing the gospel, and then continuing on. Its ridiculous!

April Fools indeed. :)

Ahh, Sl*ce... such wonderful comic relief... Kind of sad how gullible those looking to condemn will get.

UPDATE- they took the entry down. Will they run a correction? An "OOPS"? Can they laugh at themselves??? We're not holding our breaths. You can still see it in the archves here

Oh, the irony- Sentence for Short Sex Offender Draws Fire

Probation Sentence for Short Sex Offender Sparks Debate; Attorney General Plans Appeal

LINCOLN, Neb. May 26, 2006 (AP)— A judge's decision to sentence a 5-foot-1 man to probation instead of prison for sexually assaulting a child has angered crime victim advocates who say the punishment sends the wrong message.

But supporters of short people say it's about time someone recognizes the unique challenges they face.

Cheyenne County District Judge Kristine Cecava issued the sentence Tuesday. She told Richard W. Thompson that his crimes deserved a long prison sentence but that he was too small to survive in a state prison.

Though he could have been sentenced to 10 years behind bars, he ended up with 10 years of probation instead. On Thursday, the state's attorney general, Jon Bruning, promised to appeal within two weeks, calling the sentence far too lenient.

"I'm concerned about the message this sends to victims and perpetrators," said Marla Sohl with the Nebraska Domestic Violence Sexual Assault Coalition, adding that it shows more concern is being placed on the criminal and his safety in prison than the victim.

But Joe Mangano, secretary of the National Organization of Short Statured Adults, agreed with the judge's assessment that Thompson would face dangers while in prison because of his height.

And the punch line...

"I'm assuming a short inmate would have a much more difficult time than a large inmate," said Mangano, who is 5 feet 4 inches tall. "It's good to see somebody looking out for someone who is a short person."

emphasis added...

sigh...

Link: ABC News: Sentence for Short Sex Offender Draws Fire.

Incredibly Important Rule of Life #3

1. Never get involved in a land war in Asia
2. Never go in with a Sicilian when death is on the line.
And number 3...

(Warning: please don't click if you are not ready. There's a boob. Not in a sexual context by any stretch of the imagination but still...)

Ahhh... beautiful irony.

Slice of Laodicea links to the King of the Hill video I "created" and posted on YouTube.

Glad I could help, Ingrid!

:)

What happened to the comics???

You know, it's bad enough that when I read the comics on Sundays there is inevitably an innuendo or language that would make me very angry were my son old enough to be reading what used to be the kid's section of the paper.

Yeah- I still read the comics. During the week I read them online. And I have to tell you, I'm getting a bit angry at popovers and side ads that make the COMICS (for pete's sake) look like this

Sorry to stumble you guys... If you don't like coming across this stuff on my blog, think how it comes across on the comics page. Arrgghh.