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New post on Out of Ur: Authority or Influence?

I have a new post up on Out of Ur. Here's an excerpt and linkage. 

 

As a pastor, I have authority in my community. But authority is not really what I want. What I really want is influence.

Authority is the ability to get people to do what I think they should do. Influence, however, is the ability to move people to want to do what they need to do.

Here’s what I know from Scripture: Pastors/elders/overseers have authority in the local community. Hebrews 13:17 encourages us all to “Obey your spiritual leaders and do what they say. Their work is to watch over your souls, and they are accountable to God.” First Thessalonians 5:12-13 says, “Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord’s work. They work hard among you and give you spiritual guidance. Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work.” Of course, this isn’t carte blanche for church leaders to have control over every aspect of peoples’ lives, though I bet you have met some leaders who’d like to think so.

Jesus pointed us toward the correct use of authority...

 

Read the rest here

 

Slouching Towards Sabbatical...

I'm winding down, taking care of last-minute details, trying to make sure all is ready... so I can drop out of vocational ministry for 3 months. 

 

 

Last Sunday I preached my final sermon for the next little while. And, coming as it did after a long night of sweating out a fever of almost 103, it felt a bit more like limping over the finish line than anything else. But regardless, what was wonderful was being prayed for, blessed and "sent" in a sense, by the community.

This week, after 7 years with few breaks (I don't think there's been a year where I actually used all of my vacation) I'm setting it down, stepping away and taking a deep breath. 

To tell you the truth, it couldn't come at a better time. Even though I have felt some sense of recovery these last few months, I still feel pretty crispy around the edges, pretty low on reserves... And already, I can feel certain brain cells waking up again- just taking the weight of ministry off (not the responsibility to care, but the responsibility to do something about it) is opening up bandwidth. I feel like I'm having the emotional and mental equivalent of nasal passages opening after taking a hit of nose spray. Words, ideas... feelings. Ahh, there they are. It's good. 

Some have lovingly questioned my desire not to disappear completely but to remain somewhat connected to the community through being around on Sundays. I'll admit- there's some risk there, but here's my thinking. 

When we first started Evergreen, one of my desires was to help build and pastor in a community where I felt like I could take a vacation WITH the people I was in community with, not FROM them. I had been in plenty of situations where the second was true... but never really the first. 

And for the first 3, 3 1/2 years or so, I think that's exactly what I had. 

But over the last few years, something has changed- the dynamic flipped, and to be honest, I want to push back against that feeling. Yes, there are times to get away, to be alone or be with family or friends who aren't part of our community. But if I can't just be a part of things, can't be friends, can't worship with, can't recreate with, can't do life with these folks- if this is just a position or a job for me, from which I need to take regular and extended breaks, well... that may be okay for others, but it's never what I envisioned and it's not what I want now. 

So I'm going to try it and see. Can I just show up and worship with my family at Evergreen? Can I be a part of our community without having to run things, adjust things (and as Dustin warned me this week) have the last word on Sunday? Can I just be an Evergreener? 

I want to be, I know that. We'll visit some other places, I'm sure- just to see what God is up to here in PDX. But, in the past when we've done that, I've always left feeling very grateful for our little community with the knowledge that there's no other place I'd like to be, worship, fellowship, live and love. 

This season will be my chance to do that in a new way- and maybe my only chance for a long, long time. 

I'm looking forward to it. 

After 7 years, a Sabbatical

When a friend told me last time at this year that traditionally, year 7 is the hardest year for church plants/church planters, I thought "hmmmm" and filed that away for future reference. We had just celebrated our 6 year mark as a church and I was already beginning to see signs of what he was talking about- both within our community and within my own soul. 

At 7, nothing is new anymore- and the energy that sustained you in your "newness" is scarce. People you thought might be with you forever, or at least for awhile longer begin to fade away in search of other things. Staff/leadership relationships begin to creak a bit with age. 

And if you are a church planter, after 7 years, you are tired. 

So many nights laying awake wondering where so-and-so went, if the marriage of your close friends is going to make it, if the faith someone you baptized who seemed so excited but now seems so not is going to make it... Week after week of set-up, admin, sermon prep, trying to coach, encourage or even cajole people into creating the kinds of ministries they are complaining to you about not having. Times when the tank is full and times when it is empty- but empty or full, you still have to pull something out of it for others. 

I knew going in this great adventure of church planting would be hard- what I couldn't see was how hard it would on my own heart and soul. How even the good and best parts of ministry still take so much out of you.  And especially how the hard parts take a toll- others second guessing your leadership decisions, complaining about things they could easily pitch in to change or create. Baptisms are wonderful, but just as often people say "I think I'm done with faith." Ministry is messy, and for most average, non-mega-church pastors, it's largely thankless.

Which is why I'm SO grateful for our elders and our community. 

Last summer, we began talking about the possiblity of me taking a sabbatical after our 7 year mark. It's a pretty standard practice in ministry to allow a pastor some extended time off after 7 years, and truthfully, I think that over the last year our elders have seen me fraying at the edges and really running out of steam. 

So, in mid-December it moved from discussion to instruction. They told me I needed to take some time away.

That was just what I needed to hear. 

Since then, I've been able to sleep better, rest more... Just knowing that a break was coming has enabled me not only to navigate some hard leadership waters these last few months, but even begin to crawl back a bit from the edges of exhaustion. At this point, I'm not only ready for a break, but feel as though I may actually have the energy to enjoy it. Which again, I'm grateful for...

So, we've announced to our community that from May through July I'm going to be taking a break from the work of ministry. Our family will still be around- I'm looking forward to actually just attending our church and sitting with my wife and kids in our gathering. It's been, uh... never, since we've been able to do that- I've been working at churches our entire marriage. While I hope to take a break from the work part, I really want to remain present in some ways- that is, take a break from work, not from community. I also want to visit some other communities and see what else God is doing here in PDX.

My spiritual director is going to help me with those parts with some regular check-ins to make sure I'm not sneaking in any work- physically or mentally. As he says, "Sabbatical" comes from "Sabbath."

And so, to that end, some things I hope to do on my Sabbatical:

1. Sleep 

2. Break this writer's block

3. Enjoy and be enjoyable to my family

4. Eat, Pray, Love

5. We're going to Disneyland!

6. Week at Richmond Hill Abbey in Richmond VA

7. Road trip with Jack, my 7 year old son

8. Sleep some more. 

 

And who knows... maybe some blogging too :)

 

7 years ago today...

Last year on this day, March 11th, right around this time, I was standing on the roof of a clinic in a village in rural Haiti, using a borrowed phone to try and call home.

This morning, one year later, using terrible hotel wifi, I finally managed to place a Skype call from Spain back home to Portland.

It wasn't long after we were married that Amy was prophetically saying to me, "I know someday you are going to be traveling- I can tell that's what God is going to do." At the time, it sounded exciting...

This week, as my plane left the Portland airport on its way to Madrid, Spain, I began to wonder how those men and women who basically travel for a living do it. Each time I leave home lately- it feels as though it gets harder and harder. More and more of my heart is tied up in every little Janie smile, every new Josie word, every Jack hug and every Amy kiss.

But, as she predicted, God has been taking me places. A few weeks ago it was an incredible time at the Ecclesia Network National Gathering with some of our elders from Evergreen. This week, it's Christian Associate's Leadership Summit here in Europe, where I'm taking the time to connect with church planters and learn from some new streams and new relationships. In a few more weeks, to Richmond, VA to help teach a church planter's bootcamp with/for Ecclesia.

I love new places, I love to see new things- it stimulates my brain in ways that are so very needed. But sometimes, like today, I feel acutely that pang of missing out.

Seven years ago today my son Jack was born. I love him more than he can know- and am extremely proud of the boy he is becoming. His heart is becoming wonderfully soft and he's proving quicker than most I know to turn a corner after getting angry, to come and say he's sorry- often cooling down way before even his daddy! He's got a generous spirit, a quick mind, and a fun-loving nature that doesn't stop.
Jack- I wouldn't want any other boy but you! I love you, guy- Happy Birthday!

Daddy will be home soon.

"She, out of her poverty, gave..."

"Calling his disciples to him, Jesus said, 'Truly I tell you, this poor widow has put more into the treasury than all the others. They all gave out of their wealth; but she, out of her poverty, put in everything—all she had to live on.'"

This morning, during a group lectio divina meditation on this Scripture, the line the Holy Spirit highlighted for me was this: "She, out of her poverty..."

As we sat with this passage, the question that came up for me was "Where is MY poverty?... And what would it look like to give out of it?"

I suspect that too often, in our context, we are overly-focused on giftedness. We want people to know their gifts (and ours) and, in a sense, to operate out of their "riches." When it becomes clear that someone is good at something, or has resources in a particular area, we want them to begin serving, giving, worshiping God with that. And so the musician who plays well is encouraged to play for God. When it becomes clear someone can speak and communicate well, we encourage her to use that gift for God and for us. The good graphic designer is pressed into using that gift for the community, the natural leader to lead, the one with the gift of hospitality to be hospitable. And there's nothing wrong with that. God has given those gifts to us for a reason.

But giving out of our gifts, out of the riches of what we do well and willingly is easy. Maybe too easy, in many ways.

In sitting with the question of where my poverty lays, I realized- we all have areas within ourselves of relative riches and relative poverty. And God wants it all. He created us, bought us at great cost to Himself, and desires that we give to Him our whole selves- that our worship of, devotion to, service of Him be wholistic.

But I wonder if, like us, God tends to smile at certain gifts more than others- not that He doesn't take delight in all service, all worship honestly given, but...
In the same way we value the hand-made gift, the hand-written note, the thing that shows effort and thought, I wonder if God sees gifts given out of our riches a little differently than gifts given out of our poverty? The easy gift of operating out of our strength vs the harder gift of having to dig deep into our less-comfortable and less competent places.

For me I know I am very comfortable in certain areas of ministry and less so in others.

And as I sat today, meditating on this, I became convinced that God wants me to worship Him not simply out of my surplus- to give to Him what costs me little because I have so much of it, or am good at it. He does want those things- but perhaps what is more worshipful of Him, more forming for me, and ultimately maybe even better for others is when I take stock of the areas where I am poor and decide to give God everything I have there- to step out, and as an act of worship, do what is less comfortable, less likely to end with the positive ego-enhancing feedback we all so love.

God, this Lenten season, may I learn to value my poverty more than my giftedness- my weakness more than my strength. Because it is in my weakness that Your strength and grace are shown and bring me to maturity.

On Holy Ground at St. Arbucks

I have a new post up at Out of Ur- here's a sample and a link there...

 

 

Like many pastors I know, I have a love/hate relationship with Starbucks.

For seven years now, as I have labored to plant, grow, and guide a church, Starbucks has been my office, my meeting space, my cafeteria, and my retreat. I’m there most work days, and I’m even there most days off to get some reading or writing time in away from the house.

Yeah—if Starbucks disappeared, I’d notice.

As with anything, though, familiarity breeds contempt. The thousands of hours I have spent in Starbucks locations all over the Portland Metro area have left me feeling at times that I’d rather be anywhere else.Please, Lord, not another day on hard wooden chairs, sipping burnt-tasting coffee, and wondering when the employees will notice the BEEP-BEEP-BEEP of the safe that sets my teeth on edge every 20 minutes as it tells them it’s time to make another deposit...

And yet, week after week, I return. Occasionally I try new places, but nothing has ever stuck. Despite a certain weariness with the place, the convenience of Starbucks, the free Wi-Fi, and the ease with which I can meet people there all conspire to draw me back week after week.

But something else draws me back there. At times Starbucks has been more than a coffee shop for me. Much more...

 

Read the rest here...